Thoughts and Frustrations

Well, this has been a long week.  I tried all week to get Hyrum's report card from the junior-senior high school, but it was lost in between schools for a long time. And now that it is probably there I have to get hold of the one right person at the right time.  It has been really frustrating!  And yesterday they weren't even open because they don't work on Fridays.  I did get a bunch of documents together.  I found all I needed for the other three boys, and I submitted them all, along with what I had for Hyrum (except for his withdrawal letter because for some reason they said that has to be submitted last).  It took forever to get it all attached and sent.

Then yesterday in frustration I called the new school and said, "Why do you need his report card if you're just going to request his records anyway?"  They told me, "It's just quicker that way.  Records requests take up to 9 business days.  Can you try to get the report card on Monday?"  Oh, boy.  For one thing, I'm not sure we'll be here on Monday, and for another thing, I'm not sure how optimistic I feel about getting that report card.  Ever.  Anyway, the lady said she'd send the records request right away, just in case.  I'm not sure why she didn't before because they already have that.  I signed it online. 

While we were talking she also told me, "I'm seeing that there are a lot of other documents that you haven't submitted.  Is there any way you could get those submitted today?"  I said, "I submitted all those documents earlier this week."  She asked me if I'd attached a lot in one email.  I said yes, I attached them in as few emails as I could.  She said in that case they probably all got caught in the firewall and I'd have to resubmit them 1-3 at a time.  Dang it!  All that work and days of waiting for the documents to be processed - for nothing!  So yesterday I resubmitted the whole lot, one at a time.  If anybody loses those I'm going to smack them! ;)

Ha, ha!  Check me out!  I wrote the above yesterday morning and forgot to finish.

I keep wanting to blog about different things going on, and I never get around to it before I forget what I was going to say.  Darn!  Well, here are a few things that have been on my mind.

Yesterday we went and did a little bit of school shopping.  I figure we don't need to be all serious about it since we're just doing school at home.  But school does start a week from Tuesday.  We did get the boys some new underwear, and we got a few other things we'll need for school.  It was an interesting trip because looking back I really did not think we'd still be here at this point. 

It is shocking how busy the summer has been and how unfruitful the job search has been.  I know, though, that Heavenly Father's timing is perfect, so I'm trying to just hang on and not worry so much.  It is hard.  They did up our food stamps payout by quite a bit.  It will now pay for more than we really need again.  But I'm not sure that will last.  I think we discussed why.  Moving on.  So for now we've got all the food we can eat.  For the rest we are relying on the money we got from tax returns, which is just dwindling away in our bank account.  Honestly, we have more than I often figure, but it is still scary to live off savings.  Savings runs out eventually.

As for the job search, Jeremy has been diligently searching still.  He's been looking all over.  The other day he went to a job service place here in town and they tried to help, but they also said, "You know that a masters degree is kind of overkill for this area, right?"  Duh!  It wasn't our idea to come back here.  But really that means we can expect help for doing what we knew we should.

And meanwhile, I've got 7 weeks and 2 days until my due date.  (That means probably 6 weeks and 2 days until I can have a scheduled c-section.)  It still seems like forever, but the weeks are indeed passing.  I was just realizing today that things are probably not going to change much between now and then.  It's not so far away as I have been thinking this whole pregnancy.  Quite a thought.

This little guy is pretty quiet.  Every now and then he'll break out dancing, but a lot of the time he is just quiet.  He gets hiccups a lot.  If there's one thing I've learned it's that how my babies feel inside me is not necessarily how they'll be when they get out.  It makes me really curious.  Please bless that this one won't be colicky!  (But you know I love him even if he is going to be colicky.)

Yesterday while we were shopping we picked up some onesies.  I think I'm set for newborn clothes now.  I'm not so sure about the sizes just bigger than that and all the way up to 12 or 18 months.  When we moved to Utah we gave away a lot of those.  That was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  My heart still aches over it.  I kept talking myself through it saying, "I'm giving up clothes, not my children."  Argh!  It was still very hard. 

Another thing I've been looking into is getting a bouncer or swing again.  We had a swing for our first 3 and a bouncer for the last 3.  If I could just have either one right now I'd probably pick a swing.  Bouncers are nice, and most of them these days vibrate, which is great.  But a swing....  Well, I don't know.  The problem is that whatever we get we're going to have to find room for.  I did like about the bouncer that it took up less space than a swing, and it was nice for laying down my sleeping babies during the day.  I don't like putting them in their bed in the day time.  I like to look at them too much.  (At the same time, I kind of have to chuckle at this because Timmy was so, so colicky.  The only way he'd nap was if he were nursing.  He'd wake up and cry again if I tried to put him down in the day time.)

Anyway, all this is bouncing around in my head.  I am really hoping that he will just be a happy guy and that he'll take a pluggie.  (Only one out of the 6 I already have did take a pluggie.  I guess we'll see.)  Doesn't hurt to dream, right?  Either way, I am really looking forward to holding him in my arms!  And I'd better get busy.  I'd like to get that blessing outfit done soon!

Aw, poo!  I've written too long.  My guys only have 40 minutes to get ready now.  :( Gotta get off to church.

Camping and School

Sure, this picture highlights my need to wear makeup, but I'm ok with that. :) Plus, I like that little Timma was cuddling with me, and it's one of the only pictures I have of myself on the Burk campout.

So... we had the Burk campout last week.  I usually get desperate to write something somewhere while on those campouts, so I usually do.  Yes, I'm silly, and I'm ok with that also. :) Here's what I wrote:

I think one of the reasons why I have a blog is that every now and then I get this need to write something.  It doesn't really matter what.  It is just therapeutic at times.

Right now I'm sitting here at the Burk Campout.  Normally, I'd be off to the water hole with the crowd, but not today.  Third trimester for me means that the muscles undery my tummy get pulled way easily, and my hip aches when I do too much.  I think that little hike down there and back would do more harm than good.

It's kind of a bummer to stay while the crowd goes, but right now I have little Timma with me.  I like that.  He played Battleship and chess and now he is off to run through the campsite.  I guess that means I have to get off my bum.  Yesterday he went clear down the road and fell in a blackberry bush before I found him.

Ha!  Here he comes running back, waving his shirt behind him.  He is such a fun little guy to watch.  I always wonder what is going on in his head.  Clearly, a lot is going on in there.  You can just tell.

This morning I woke up bemoaning the fact that I have so many weeks left until the little guy makes his grand appearance.  I am frustrated by my limitations.  I want to be don, not only so I can hold my sweet new guy, but also so I can be on the recovery side of this process.  If I could just have him today I could be settling back into a routine before school starts.  Still, I shouldn't complain.  It is only 8 1/2 more weeks until my due date (and now that I'm typing this it's just less than 8), and God's timing is always spot-on.  I cannot wait to meet ths new little boy.  It goes without saying - I love him a lot already.

I'm afraid I did something rather drastic on Monday.  One thing I've been needing lately is to have decided where the boys will go to schoo this year.  I figured we'd know as soon as we knew where we'd be at that point, but I needed it settled in my mind.  Well, time has gone on and now, even thought it feels so far away, Brom's birth is indeed coming soon.  I think we need to stay here.  As far as schools go, Miami is closest, but it's out of the question.  Globe doesn't sound much different.  We tried Destiny School and we're done with it.  There's a K12 school, but I'd have to drive the boys there and home.  Now way, Jose.  Loading up 7 kids twice a day.  Pbbbt.  Or there is a distance learning thing, but it's dual enrollment - part online and part at a local school.  Again, that's me loading up 7 kids to drive to school.  Boo.  So I feel like my only choice is to go back to homeschool.  And since I have no curriculum I've decided to just plop them all back in Arizona Virtual Academy. 

So that's what I'm doing.  I started enrollment on Monday.  Now I have a billion more papers to turn in.  I'm nervous because K12 (the AZVA curriculum) is a lot of work.  And I'm not sure what to do about computers.  We only have 3 and 1 is off-limits for the kiddos.  Plus, if we get some of the school's loaners I'm not sure what to do with them.  Where could we put them?  And I'm going to have a long list of school supplies to get. And we're having a baby soon after the school year starts.  And the school year is starting the first week of August.  Good golly.  Well, we'll give it a go.

And there you go.  There is what I wrote on the campout.  Since then I've been working my buns off to get all the paperwork done.  Yesterday I put in nearly a full day filling it out, scanning it, and emailing it.  I still have 3 more documents to turn in.  I only have one of those.  I'm waiting on the boys' old schools to get their stuff together, but they're all way busy since the schools have been switched all around over the summer.  Well, we'll get it together.  We'll figure it out.  Hopefully we'll even learn to follow a schedule because I have no idea how we'll get through this without it.  And it could all be temporary anyway.  Who knows when we'll get a job and where it'll be.  Jeremy's applying in all sorts of places.  So yeah, it's all a wait and see kind of deal.

Timmy

I have actually been preparing for this post.  You may remember a post I wrote a while back about the cute things that Jill was saying at the time.  (Ahem, this one.)  I figured that was so fun we should start a list for Timmy, especially because he is finally starting to actually talk.  (He has his own agenda, and I wouldn't have it any other way.)  Just like with Jill's list, I've been keeping a list on the fridge and adding to it.  It is so fun!  You should try it when your kids start talking!  I just leave it there where anybody can add to it.  We've got quite a longie so far.

 

Okay, first of all - this picture kind of cracks me up.  Timmy often protests when I go to the bathroom, and quite often he'll even open the door and try to come in while I'm... er... busy!  On this particular day he just waited for me outside the door.  With his blankie on his head. ;)

 

And so, let's start this thing off with a rousing round of Timmyisms!  (As if we haven't already started. ;)

 

Before you read this, be aware that Timmy often pauses between syllables, and he usually kind of grunts whatever he's saying, spitting it out and holding his breath alternately.  And he has a lisp.  A few of my children have had lisps around the same age, but they all grew out of it.  And he often punctuates the things he says with "uh."  He sometimes raises the pitch of his voice with that "uh" so it sounds like a question, even when it's not.  And, of course, as I started the list he started to say things a little more correctly, so I had to write what he used to say and then what he says now so I could remember. :)

• Choo-choo a bang-bang (now sing-sing a bang-bang) = Chitty Chitty Bang-Bang, one of his current favorite movies.
• Appoo = apple
• Socket = chocolate (He LOVES chocolate, and if it's left anywhere where he can reach with the aid of a chair, he will get it.)
• Stoo doo a ah you = Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?
• Bah-bob a Wihward (now Spa-bob Pants - except he has a little lisp) = Spongebob Squarepants (Wihward is Squidward)
• Merman a Boy (now Merman a Bah Boy) = Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy (A couple of characters on Spongebob.) (As you can see, he likes to talk about his favorite movies.  It's kind of a jumping-off point for him, and now he's starting to talk about other things more as well.)
• Likes to talk about Jungle Boy (from Johnny Bravo) and Stupid Dog (what Eustace calls Courage on Courage the Cowardly Dog).
• Sometimes he'll come and find Papa and say, "Hi, Papa.  A doin' uh?" ("Hi, Papa.  How are you doing?") 
• He doesn't say Mommy or Mama at all.  If he wants me and can't find me he wanders around the house crying.  If he wants me and I'm right there he just comes to me.
• Sometimes he'll grouch at us for things that he doesn't want us to say.  This happens when we make a suggestion that he doesn't agree with or when we talk about something he likes to talk about that he doesn't want us talking about.  So sometimes if we ask him about Jungle Boy and he doesn't like it, he'll scowl and growl, "Don't a Jungle Boy!"  And sometimes he'll smack us for emphasis.
• Petsa (now pee-sa) = pizza
• Bed = bread
• Bakie = blankie
• He likes to talk about toot sweets (From Chitty Chitty Bang Bang)
• Eh go uh. (Now "Here go uh.") = There you go (when he hands something to us)
• Kwon. Ess go. = Come on.  Let's go.  (This is what he says when he grabs my hand and tries to take me to show me what he wants me to get for him.)
• Seego = Cereal
• Moogie = Movie
• He used to say water for any drink.  Now he is differentiating more.
• Gatt'dee = Scratchy and all other rats
• Queen = Lightning McQueen
• Mainer = Mater
• Sickun (Now sin'gun) = Chicken
• I want at can'ee = I want that candy.  (He said this over and over one night, begging for pieces of Papa's chocolate until it was all gone.)
• He likes to sing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" like this: 

           Tinko Tinko iddo star

           *mumble, mumble* are

           *mumble, mumble* high

           *mumble* dahmund a sky

 

           He kind of speaks/grumbles his way throught the whole thing, almos shouting the last word of

           each line.  And now he says twinko instead of tinko.  There was one time on a campout that he

           actually seemed to sing it instead of grumble it.

 



 

And a few things he loves

• Animals, especially dogs, I think.  He also has a bucket of plastic animals that he loves.  His favorites out of the bucket are the two elephants, but I'm pretty sure that is only because there are two of them that are the same - one for each hand.
• Cars (On the campout I think he was missing his cars.  We have a big bucket of them and he plays with them every day.  One day on the campout I found him laying in the dirt driving a rock around and around.  Here's a picture.  You can see the rock under his belly, and you can see lines in the dirt all around him where he drove it.)
  

• Airplanes
• Trains (He is really good at setting up the wooden train set Benji got for Christmas years ago.)
• Sticks
• Outside
• Baths
• Hugs, especially when he can grab my hair in the process
• Bringing me his blankie at bedtime if he's tired so that I'll rock him with it.
• Laying on my hair

Every now and then I worry because he isn't speaking as well as other kids his age.  It's not a constant, nagging worry.  It comes and goes.  I wonder if I should find him some speech therapy.  But I also really love how he talks.  I really love him how he is.  But at the same time I worry that letting him just do it at his own pace may hinder him for the rest of his life.  *Sigh*  I guess one of my worries of late is having him go into Primary in the new year with limited talking skills.  That is still about 6 months away, and he will be turning 3 just 2 months before then.  But still, I wonder.

One thing Timmy likes best lately is having a big group of things (cars, blocks, chairs, whatever) so he can line them up.  Sometimes he lines his cars up side by side, and sometimes he lines them up in a long line end to end.  He's really meticulous with it too, getting them exactly straight.  I love it!  He likes to get the small square blocks that we have (the same ones that Jill looks through to find her J) and stack them while counting.  "One, two, twee..."  And he spends most of every day just playing with whatever he can find.  Sometimes if he needs food or attention he'll go into the kitchen to play.  Sometimes he'll climb on the counter and grab the Cheerios to munch on.  And if he needs attention he may come out with a sharp knife in each hand and then stand there waiting for us to notice.  If we freak out he'll take off running with said knives.  But I found the other day that if I remain calm and ask him nicely for the knife he'll just hand it to me.  Phew!  And he is really sneaky and fast, just like I was at that age.

Speaking of his speed, though, Jeremy was watching him run one day and realized that he naturally has good running form.  Isn't that interesting?  Jeremy said he's spent a lot of effort trying to teach some of his track team members to run with good form, and some of them never got it.  Some of them just had it naturally.  So maybe Timmy should follow in his Papa's footsteps and do track or cross-country someday.  He does really like to run.  He loves to escape from nursery whenever somebody opens the door, and he'll be halfway down the hall before they know what happened.

Sometimes when he is throwing a fit and I can't get him to calm down (typical 2-year-old behavior), I sit down with him at the computer and show him some home videos.  Usually I show him videos of himself.  There was one night that he was playing Cut the Rope on the iPad, and he suddenly thought it was funny to make the little monster not get the candy so he would frown.  It is pretty cute.  Anyway, this particular night it made Timmy laugh.  So he sat there continually denying the monster candy and just laughing so hard!  I took a video of it, and Timmy really likes to watch that one.

Timmy and Jill both love to climb up on the top bunks of the beds in their brothers' rooms.  They have broken a bunch of things that Joshua kept up on his bed so that it would be out of their reach.  Just now Timmy came in the living room wearing Benji's magician hat and waving a stick.  Benji didn't like that and ended up chasing him around to get it back.

Well, I think that's probably enough for now.  Phew!  Now if I can just update the photo site we'll be all sorts of caught up! :)

Jill



Yes, I am feeling anxious to get all these little posts about my children done.  I've got just over 9 weeks until my due date and plenty of things to do.  Plus, I am wondering if we'll be moving before the baby comes or what in the world is going to become of us.  I feel like I'd better wrap up my loose ends, especially since the end of a chapter in our lives for the last few years means the end of one of my books and the beginning of another.  I'd better get it all in before the new book starts!  But I am glad to write about my children.  They are treasures. :)

 



My little Jill just turned 4.  On her birthday my visiting teacher showed up at the door with two hand-me-down dresses.  She didn't know it was Jill's birthday, and the dresses are both size 3, but Jill was thrilled.  I am struggling because this particular dress in the picture looks so cute on her, but I never can decide how I feel about that kind of sleeves (i.e. just a ruffle and an extra large arm hole.  Why do they always have an extra large arm hole with ruffle sleeves?)  I am the sort that insists upon sleeves.  I can't decide if this counts.  But she does look mighty cute.  I think my dilemma will shortly be remedied, though, because the dresses are both too short.  I do think that I will pass this one along.  Maybe I should make her a better one with similar fabric.

 

Anyway, this post is supposed to be about Jill, but so far I've only talked about myself.

 

Jill is the princess.  Everyone takes care of her.  But she's also a little nurturer and likes to take care of people too, so it kind of balances out.  One of her favorite things to do is pretend to be a mommy.  Sometimes she's the baby, though.  She and Michael have a lot of fun with that.  Lately I really wish she had a little sister.  Her brothers' interest in dancing, playing dress-up, and watching Barbie movies only goes so far. (Though I have to add a plug here for one of Jill's Barbie movies.  She got Barbie in The Twelve Dancing Princesses for her birthday.  It was her Papa's idea.  After that Fairytopia one I was quite hesitant to get any more Barbie movies.  Gag.  Plus, I already knew that they had ruined a classic fairytale with this new one.  But I actually like it quite a bit.  It does have its obligatory cheesy Barbie moments, but it includes a lot of music, which, I believe, is all Mendelssohn.  And the coreography is actually quite good.  In the credits it lists the New York City Ballet.  Jeremy thinks they did one of those video capture things where you grab the movements of real people and transfer them to cartoon.  I think that's probably true.  The dancing is quite lifelike.  I think that in most cases they try to make Barbie seem plastic, so her movements aren't that great, but the dancing in this particular movie is quite good and I enjoy watching it very much.)

 

Jill has been really interested in my changing shape lately.  One day a week or two ago she told me, "Mommy, you're getting fat."  I chuckled and said, "Yep, baby Brom is getting big."  I think she realizes that someday she's going to be shaped something like me, so she asks me questions that I'm not quite sure how to answer sometimes.  She also is kind of fascinated by the fact that baby Brom is in my tummy.  She was telling the lady at the fabric counter about it the other day.  She isn't interested in feeling him move except when she tells me that he is moving.  (Every time she says that he isn't.)  But there was one time she said, "I want to wake up baby Brom."  And then she shook a rattle by my tummy.  I was surprised that he actually did start moving around!  And every now and then when we're talking about baby Brom I'll lament that she doesn't have a little sister.  I really was hoping that this baby would be a sister for Jill, and I didn't want them to be so far apart in age that they never really get to play together.  Now I kind of wish I were having twins because I don't want to trade baby Brom, of course. ;) In these moments Jill will tell me either that Brom is a girl or that she has a baby girl in her tummy.  Oh, goodness.  Soon enough, little darlin'.  Let's not rush that. ;)

 

Jill loves all things pink, which is funny because she lost her favorite pink headband at Walmart the other day and didn't bat an eye.  She likes her long hair, but lately she also likes to cut it.  She never cuts very much, but I keep telling her it's never going to grow out if she keeps cutting it.  One day she caught on and cried, "I don't want to look like a boy!"  But, of course, a few days later she had snipped away a little more.  It's alarming how hard it is to keep scissors away from little hands!  (Speaking of which, for some reason Michael also joined in the hair-cutting fascination.  He cut a big chunk out of his bangs.  It's cut pretty close to his head.  I guess he's just going to look funny for a while.  I'm not about to cut it all off.)

 

And also speaking of Jill's hair, it seems like I should give her some bangs so I don't have to do her hair all the time.  We'd been using these little black rubber bands, but she likes to take them out by herself, and when she does it she pulls out a clump of hair.  Gah!  If she had bangs I wouldn't have to do her hair to keep it out of her eyes.  But I don't like bangs on little girls.  They look silly and 80's-ish if you curl them, and if you leave them flat they look, well, flat.  So that's out of the question.  No bangs. 

 



 

 

I took her to the store and we got a bunch of clippies and a few headbands, along with some rubber bands that are gentler on her hair. They don't hold their place as well, but they don't rip out as much hair if she takes them out either. That's a win. She actually likes to wear the headbands for longer than she used to. Progress! 

 

And now she has been showing an interest in doing my hair.  She climbs up behind me where I'm sitting and fluffs my ponytail over and over until she's satisfied.  And then she has me tie a ribbon in it.  The other day I got home from the store and realized that my helter-skelter ponytail still had a helter-skelter ribbon in it.  People must think I'm a weirdo.

 

Jill has always like to have her hand held.  Ooo I should post a picture from when she was a baby.  Here we go.

This particular day I couldn't get her to fall asleep at nap time.  Finally she calmed down and went to sleep when she could hold my hand with both of hers.  She was like 3 1/2 months old.  So cute!  She still likes to fall asleep with somebody holding her hand, but she isn't desperate for it like she sometimes was when she was tiny.

 

I have been kind of lazy about teaching Jill little things like her name, I'm afraid, but she knows what a J looks like, and she thinks it's her name.  She likes to go through the blocks until she finds the one with the letter J on it, and then she gets pretty excited and tells us she found her name.

 

Jill has been sleeping in her own bed a lot more often lately.  She's actually been staying there the whole night the majority of the time.  But a few times she's come to me at odd hours of the night or early morning asking for strange things.  One morning she woke up early remembering that I had told her she could have juice in the morning.  She came and asked if she could have juice yet.  I said it was still sleeping time.  I pulled her into bed with me and she fell asleep again.  Another morning she came and asked if she could have some peaches.  And late last night she came to me all worried, telling me about the storm.  I think she was afraid of all that lightning.

 

I love watching the cute relationship Jill has with her Papa.  It is so sweet!  She likes to have him lay beside her as she falls asleep.  She likes that he'll let her steal his iPad.  She likes to sneak into our bed at night and cuddle him right off the bed.  And he loves her anyway.  In fact, I have the sneaky suspicion that he may even lover her more for it all. :)

 

We love our Jilly Bean!

Things I Forgot to Mention in My Update

I finished and sent my update today, and I keep thinking of things I forgot to mention.  I may add to the list later as I keep remembering

• I finished my fourth blog book in June and uploaded it to the printer.  I had decided I wasn't going to print it until after we have a job since it's about $100, but I forgot that if you don't order a copy within 15 days of uploading they delete it from their online space.  Darn!  It took at least 2 hours to upload.  Still, I did finish it.  All of the editing, re-arranging, and everything else is as done as it's gonna get.
• The other day I noticed that Jill was repeatedly spitting on the floor.  I asked her what she was spitting out, and she said, "Scratchy's food tastes yucky."  Apparently, she saw some sitting around and decided to sample it.  Lesson learned.
• Michael also learned a good lesson.  This one was about the microwave.  One day he was wandering around bored, and he started pushing buttons on the microwave.  This is a big, nice microwave that our friends the Spurlocks gave us back in 2006 or so.  It had hardly been used at all and is just really nice.  Anyway, he had the microwave running with nothing in it.  I scolded him a bit and had him turn it off.  I noticed a burned smell, but I figured it was just food that the boys have spilled in there.  Not long after that I went to use the microwave to make Jill some ramen.  After a few seconds of cooking it got really bright inside the microwave and it sounded really funny.  I opened the microwave and found a big old scorch mark on the side of the inside.  I do believe we had some flames in there.  We unplugged it and replaced it.  Kind of scary!  But it's a good lesson to learn.  Don't microwave nothing!
• Sometime in June Jeremy finally received his diploma from INSEEC (the school in Paris).  It came with a blue stole.  Pretty exciting!  It also came with a ticket for a gala in Paris for INSEEC graduates.  The gala happened in like May or something.  Ha ha!  Now we are just missing the diploma from SUU.  That should come out around the middle of this month.  It's funny that they all took so long!  We bought 3 document frames, so now he has his ASU and INSEEC diplomas up on the wall.  The SUU one will join them.  Also, did you realize that he has received 4 degrees since we got married?  He got an AAS degree back in 2001, a bachelors degree in 2005, and 2 masters degrees in 2013 (though his coursework was all officially done for the masters degrees in 2012).  He is pretty fancy.

I also have been thinking - the one-year mark for Jeremy's departure to Paris has come and gone, and we've almost gotten all the way to the one-year mark of his arrival home.  I know I talk about that time now and then, but lately I have been reminded of it over and over.  In particular, I keep thinking about people's reactions to that situation.  I don't really remember what people in our ward said of it, but I do remember that first Sunday without Jeremy.  At the end I was gathering my things after Relief Society and my friend Tia asked me how I was doing.  I don't remember what I said in response.  I do remember that I burst into tears and she just sat there with her arm around me.  I appreciated that a lot.  And I remember hearing now and then about the reactions people who Jeremy met while he was in Paris and the other countries he visited.  They would say that Jeremy is lucky to have a wife who would let him do that.  Or that I am brave.  Or whatever.  Those reactions all kind of surprised me.  I shouldn't have been surprised, but my perspective was that we both knew this was what the Lord wanted us to do, and that he promised me that we would be ok and have a good summer.  That was that.  That was the perspective I went in with.  I still wonder what people think.  I kind of figure that my ward thinks I was a basket case the entire time and couldn't handle my children at all.  Who knows.  It probably doesn't matter, and they probably don't think that.

I can say, however, that I treasure the memory of those times.  I do wish I hadn't freaked out so much.  We did have some good times and overall I think I did ok, but I do feel like I was living a short hop away from insanity a lot of the time.  I felt so pressured and so lonely.  I am thankful for the help I got with the water heater, and I was thankful for all the little times we were blessed.  I have some pretty nice memories from that time.  I'm thankful that we heard and obeyed the voice of the Lord and went ahead with that crazy scheme.

(And just as a side-note, I'm thankful that we obeyed and came here too.)

Michael

I've decided I need to hurry up and get these posts about the children done.  I've got my next book in the works, and I want all of these in it. 

 

 

Michael is my fiercest independent.  Even when he was tiny he was trying to do big kid things, and he wanted them done his own way.  He doesn't like to be told no and will often go ahead and do what he feels like even after being told no.  It's aggravating at times!  But there is a good side to his independence.  Sometimes it means that he is sneakily helpful.  And every time I allow any of my children's independent thinking on projects we come up with things that are way better than what I was thinking of. 

 

Another thing that Michael loves that is often quite aggravating is picking on his brothers now and then.  I think he does it so that he'll get some extra attention when he cries after the squash him.  He especially loves to pick on Hyrum.  I always wonder how many squashings he'll need before he learns to leave Hyrum alone.  And I try to encourage him to come and find me instead of seeking attention in this way.  But he seems to like the pity or something.  Ah, well.  They all work it out eventually. ;)

 

Along with being fiercely independent he is also very loyal to family and friends.  He loves his grandparents and his aunts, uncles, and cousins.  The very fact that somebody is related to him means a lot to him, and he really appreciates the people that he is related to.  One of his hardest things about moving to Cedar City was that he missed the relatives he left behind in Globe, and I think that maybe he is one reason why we came back.

 

Michael is a very cuddly fellow who just needs his mom sometimes, especially at night.  He is like me and worries more at night.  Last night he heard Jeremy telling Michael something about being nice to Timmy because who knows what might happen and we don't want something not so nice to be Timmy's last memory of Hyrum.  It was probably spoken out of tiredness.  Surely, it isn't very likely that something horrible would happen, but it's a point that I have tried to make for our children myself.  I can't even really stomach the thought of them going to bed after getting yelled at for something.  I want their last thoughts before they drop off to sleep to be happy.

 

Anyway, so what Jeremy said struck a chord with Michael last night, and he was really, really worried that something horrible is going to happen to Timmy.  He cried and told me over and over that he doesn't want something horrible to happen to Timmy.  I held him and tried to reassure him.  Really what he needed was some sleep, but I'm hoping that my holding him for a while helped.  He may bet annoyed by Timmy from time to time (little brothers... what are you gonna do?), but he really loves that little guy. 

 

I love that Michael's best friends are relatives.  He really likes his cousin Brookie who is about a year younger than him.  He was really sad this year at the Badger campout to discover his little playmate Sami didn't come this year.  The poor guy wandered around looking sad a lot during that campout.  He and Benji have been friends for a long time, even if sometimes they do forget.  I love watching them play together.  Michael also really likes playing with Jill.  They switch around roles and play house.  Usually, Jill is the mommy or Michael is the daddy.  And Michael loves to go find Jill in her class after church on Sunday.  He chases her around the room until I get there because he's not allowed to just take her. 

 

He also has one friend from school, Maxine, who he has talked about off and on.  He has wondered if someday he will marry her. ;) And one thing he likes best about school is meeting new friends.  I think that quality will help him later in life.  It's actually a quality I wish I had.  I do like meeting new people for the most part, but mostly I am too nervous in that situation.  I think that it could mean that he'll avoid a lot of loneliness in his life.  He is a sweet, caring, and outgoing guy.  I think he'll be just fine.

 



Michael has done really well in school.  It has been such a pleasure to watch him learning to read.  I think that family scripture time has really blessed his life in this area.  The same can be said with all of our children.  It's neat to hear him read the scriptures because he can read most of those big old words.  He only needs help with a word or two each time.  And it turns out that reading is his favorite thing about school.  I think that's pretty neat.  Each time I see my children catch hold and start to enjoy reading it's a gift to them and me both. 

I've appreciated many times how Michael would come home most days and get his homework done right away.  He seems to really like doing homework most of the time, and he does a good job with it.  His teacher said that at the end of this last school year he was finally starting to come out of his shell.  I think that it was a very good thing he participated in that talent show at the end of the year.  Not only did it mean he was exhibiting his skills in front of the whole school, but it brought cheers from his classmates, who were in awe over how cool his rollerblades looked and how neat it was that he could skate.  I think that is one experience I will always remember. 

One thing I am sure Michael doesn't know is that I was going through some really tough times when he was born.  And not only that, but I'm sure he doesn't know how I needed him then.  I clung to that boy.  I'm afraid I kind of spoiled him because I needed him so much.  It is something that he really couldn't help - being there for me.  All he did was be his cute, tiny self, and that was all I needed.  I think that the same could be said for all of our children.  They have come right on time and brought things to my life that only they could bring.  It's just that Michael happened to come during a particularly challenging time.  He was my balm, and for that I will always be thankful.

Michael likes to draw from time to time.  It seems like every time he does Joshua exclaims at how cute his efforts are.  (Joshua loves things that are cute.)  He really likes art time at school and has made some fun things there.

Off and on throughout the school year Michael's school held family reading nights.  They were supposed to be fun, activity-filled nights, and Michael always begged to go.  I feel bad about the fact that we never once made it to one.  We never once made it to one when Benji was there either.  The problem is that the school really likes to schedule things for Wednesdays, which is my busiest day of the week.  Those reading nights always fall soon after I pick up boys from Cub Scouts, right when I need to be making dinner and feeding everyone.  And now that Hyrum is 12 they also happen to overlap with his scouts time.  Poor Michael was so disappointed that we never made it.  They even handed out books during those nights, but thank goodness his teacher always saved his books for him.

Oh, and speaking of school and reading, the school that Michael attended this last school year is closing.  I think that this is part of a process that started maybe while we were in Utah.  The 7th and 8th graders who were attending Lee Kornegay Junior High were sent to the high school (now the Miami Junior/Senior High School).  Lee Kornegay was mostly empty last school year.  There is a small portion that was open and housed the 6th grade classes, but those classes went next door to Bejarano School for lunch, library time, art, etc.  They were technically still part of Bejarano School.  Well, starting this coming school year, the students at Las Lomas (Michael's school last year) will be housed in Bejarano school up the hill, and all the Bejarano students are moving into Lee Kornegay.  That's a lot of moving things around!  I think Las Lomas was getting too old, and enrollment has probably been down throughout the school district. 

What this meant for Michael is that his teacher was downsizing.  She let them take home a LOT of books, and Michael was so pleased.  For the last week or two he kept bringing home more and more books.  He decided to give some of them to Brookie, but he wanted to keep most of them.  Most are old reading books, and he has really loved having them.  And I think he secretly wishes a bit that we would stick around for the next school year so he can go to Bejarano.  (Not that I have any clue where we are going to be next school year - which starts next month.  Yikes!)

Michael, so far, has been different from his older brothers in that he is a little skinny guy.  I think this is mostly due to the fact that he still doesn't eat a whole lot.  He does like to eat, and he likes treats, but when it's dinner time he only wants as much as I'm giving to Timmy and Jill.  (Yes, we could go into the argument that we need to address the weights of our 3 older boys, but that's another topic for another day.) I've found that interesting.  It was right around Michael's age that Benji started bulking up.  I think part of the reason why Michael hasn't is that he seems just determined that he's not going to.  He even said something to that effect once.  (And yes, this all does have me thinking about the sad fact that children worry more about their weight at younger ages these days.  Surely, it's something that society has had to address, but I feel sorry that they can't just have a happy, care-free childhood.  And I feel sad that I have three sons who are overweight.  Goodness, the feelings that brings up!  Let's leave that for another day, shall we?)

I love how grounded Michael is.  He loves to be silly and crazy, but it seems like he always goes back to his center.  I can see his little budding testimony in that center along with his love of family and friends.  It seems like even when is world is turned upside down he can always somehow find that center.  I think it has kept him sane though all the changes we've had.  He seems to have been born with the knowledge that even though things change he can still play with Benji and Jill, and he will still have the gospel. 

And speaking of the gospel, there is something about Michael that I would really like to share here that I guess I had better keep to myself.  I know I am horrible even mention something that I'm not going to explain.  Suffice it to say, he has been diligent in his prayers and has exhibited quite a bit of faith in these his young years.  I can't deny that I am pretty darn proud of him for that.

Like his brothers, Michael really enjoys video games and is pretty good at them.  There have been times when he's helped me figure things out on certain games.  He's 7 years old and is already showing his mommy up!

I love that Michael of mine!

In other news, I talked to Hyrum's doctor a week ago, and they found nothing wrong in the ultrasound.  So I guess we just won't worry about it.  I'm not sure why he was in so much pain, but I'm glad it's gone.

And in other other news, Jeremy and Hyrum are off to Hyrum's first time at scout camp today.  They went up to Camp Raymond.  They packed up everything in the little car on Saturday, and this morning at 3:15 they hopped in the car and drove away.  They got to camp at around 8:00.  I'm so glad that Hyrum could go and that Jeremy could go with him.  I know it's hard for Hyrum.  He is 12, but he hasn't spent many nights away from me.  There was the time when he was 5 that I spent two months living in the valley while he stayed in Globe with his brothers and Papa. (I was waiting down there close to a better hospital, just in case, because I was pregnant with Michael and had complications.)  But that was a long time ago.  He cried saying good night to me last night.  Poor fella.  I miss him.  Not only is he my best helper, but he is one of my favorite people.  I miss Jeremy too.  He has been so kind and loving during these last few weeks when this pregnancy is really starting to take its toll.  (I have not been the best wife and mother lately.  Not only does cleaning make me cry before too long, but I can't seem to think clearly.)  And besides that, I just happen to like having all of these, my favorite people around.