Opinion

You don't really have to read this.  I just want it written down, and right now this is the most convenient place to write it.

We have such wonderful Sunday School teachers!  They always say some little thing or other that I just needed to hear.  And sitting next to Sister Whetten during it and kind of basking in the warmth of her faith - it's just cool. :)

So anyway, this last Sunday a remark from the teacher caught my ear.  It was kind of a little thing he happened to say kind of off on a tangent, but it really struck me.  He said something about when he's met with people who oppose our church, and particularly his own beliefs.  He said, "They have to decide for themselves, but I KNOW this church is true.  I KNOW it."  That first part ("They have to decide for themselves.") really struck me.  I've been really struggling lately with the fact that three of my siblings have left the church.  I realized when he said that that I was once again shutting down.  See, when I am confronted with people who have strong opinions, I immediately assume I must be wrong in my own opinion and I just kind of shut down.  Knowing I'm wrong is like the worst thing ever, and so it all just eats at me until I realize I'm doing it again (because I don't realize it as topsy turvy because everybody else is always right and I'm always wrong, so I just assume...), until I remember that they have to decide for themselves, and that that doesn't make my opinion or my beliefs invalid.  Hallelujah!  You know?!  What a wonderful thing to realize!  It made me feel so free.
I've clung to the church because it makes me happy, because it brings the fruit that it promises, and because it strengthens me... well, and because it's true. ;) But as I see my siblings who have strayed I feel like they must think I'm so foolish for staying.  I hate feeling like someone thinks I'm a fool.  It kills me inside.  Well, this that Brother Stevens said was kind of a band-aid.  I feel so much better.  It doesn't matter if they think I'm a fool.  Chances are they don't, but if they do, well, they have to decide for themselves, but that doesn't mean that I'm wrong or actually a fool at all.  I feel empowered.  And the other good part is that I can still love them and do my own thing.  I like that.  I'll take it!