Timmy

We have a wiggly Timmy in our bed. I started to sing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star to try to calm him down. Jeremy joined in for the second phrase and said, "How I want to drive a car." Timmy said, "Aaah! Car? What a talking about?!" :) He surprises us all the time!

Happy Birthday!

 

Brom turned 1 today! :D  What a year it has been! We are so thankful to have our sweet, happy little Abraham! :)  We went camping last night for Brom's first time camping in a tent, so here's a picture of the little guy at our campsite this morning. It was a great campout, and I think Brom mostly enjoyed everything except wearing shoes. Ha ha! Happy birthday, sweet Bubby! :)

Progress

I want to cry. I just wrote a long post about Timmy's latest achievements, and he erased the whole dang thing. :'(

Here we go again.

I have more to record at a later date, but I just wanted to record some of the new things Timmy has been saying.

Timmy likes to sing the ABC song. He sings it all the time. He also really likes Old MacDonald,  but he sings it E-I-E-I yoyo. Last night he found three plastic animals to sing about: a dinosaur, a snake, and an elephant. Who knew Old MacDonald collected exotic animals? (Oh, and just a side note: Timmy calls steak "snake.")

The other day he found a little box of nails. I asked him to please put them away, and he said, "OK," and did it!  He demonstrated understanding of my directions and use of a new word in one whack! :) He's also learned the word ugly, but I don't think he knows what it means. He uses it to describe people and things in pictures.  (It's ugly Mommy!")

Yesterday he was climbing on a bucket and knocked it over. He said, "Sorry," before picking it up. :) And today he told his Papa,  "I want a purple gum." (Jeremy has gum hiding in his dresser right now.) I believe he has said want before, but the use of pronouns is totally new for him! He usually refers to himself as Timmy, but it sounds more like "Teemee."

Also,  before he could have gum we got him to say please. Another first! I wonder if it's because of the "Please, Thank You, Sorry" song on Baby Signing Time.

And just this evening he told me, "Bubby loves Mommy." (Bubby is another nickname for Brom. Yes, I do really like nicknames,  especially for my babies. They all get several, but most don't survive babyhood, which is probably a good thing.) Yes, Bubby is a silly nickname, but I love hearing Timmy use it. So cute! I think he even told me one day, "Brom is Bubby."

Anyway, love is a concept I've been trying to instill in Timmy's brain.  I tell him that I love him and Papa loves him and Jesus loves him. Maybe it's starting to stick! I just can't wait for the day when he tells me, "I love you." That would demonstrate an understanding of what love is plus use of two pronouns!

I have given a lot of thought to Timmy's speech therapy. I honestly have ended up doing nothing about it. Part of me cringes about not getting him therapy because that's what everybody else does for autistic children with speech problems. But I have to shove that thought out of my mind and just remember that I'm not supposed to get him into therapy. I have a strong feeling about it. It has been such a blessing just having him learn by playing. He picks up all sorts of things. And I figure there is a lot in his brain that he just can't express. Timmy is often a challenge, but he's also a gift.

OK, I'm falling asleep here. One more thing to record. We have been getting everyone we could to the eye doctor just for a checkup because we can. We had Hyrum, Joshua, Benji, and me examined earlier this week

(Gonna puke. I just lost a bunch more that I wrote! Here we go again again.)

We we're all good. Michael and Jill got examined today, and they both had to have their eyes dilated. Jill was super upset about that, but they bribed her with stickers and treats. Anyway, Jill is good, but Michael is not. He measures 20/25 in one eye and 20/45 or so in the other. His depth perception is off, and apparently the bad eye is turning to far inward to focus while the good one just looks right at what he's looking at. So he is going to need glasses. He was worried about that. He kept talking about how people would react. He kept mentioning how Brookie (his cousin and pretty much his best friend) is going to react,  but I think he's more worried about other things like that he'll get teased. He perked up when he got to choose frames. There were lots of good boy ones to look at. I let him pick whatever he wanted, and, of course, he needed red ones. They are red and black plastic with rectangular lenses. And he chose that kind of lenses that get dark when you go outside. I wasn't sure if he'd like them, but he said yes, and,  apparently, Jeremy had some like that in like fourth grade and loved them. So OK.

Jenny will get his exam tomorrow. He had laser surgery years ago, but he says his sight is going bad at least a bit. I guess all eyes do with age. Anyway, we're curious to see if he'll need glasses again.

The end. Good night!

A memory

Before Brom was born somebody gave this doll to Jill. It has sleepers on it that are for a preemie. It's actually kind of an ugly baby doll if you ask me. Anyway, Timmy discovered this baby one day, and he was so pleased. He ripped the snaps open and then brought it to me. I dressed it again, and he ripped the snaps open again. It was so fun! ;) Well, weeks later, after Brom was born, I had just gotten Brom dressed in some sleepers, and he was just laying there while I put something away or something, and Timmy came along and ripped his snaps open. A real live baby doll! He didn't get the same response when he DoD it with Rom, though. ;)

Brom

Brom is getting to be a great walker, and today he figured out how to cover his face and say peek-a-boo! :) And he has little curlies! :D

Also, look down a couple posts maybe. Turns out there was a post I forgot to publish. It was all typed up and just sitting there. Yes, it does talk a bit about my brother. Yes, Mama, you did ask me not to talk about it, but it was already written and I am done.

Wednesday stuff that was put off until Friday

Okay, I wrote this on Wednesday, but I didn't feel like I could finish it that day. It seems like every time I try to bear my testimony on the computer (sorry - spoiler) the kiddos go nutsos and I end up grouching at them while trying to type. That doesn't work very good. Well, now it is quiet and I will try again. Also, just so you know, the dentist appointment went great. The hygienist said I have zero cavities and my teeth are beautiful. (That's three yearsage myleast visit!) She also happens to be in our ward. That was the most pleasant dentist visit I've had in a long time. Jeremy had two cavities and a failing root canal. :(

I have a dentist appointment today, and Jeremy has one tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it,  but Jeremy is. He says that being able to go to the dentist makes him feel taken care of. I just don't like going. It hurts, and I'm worried about getting the boys to Cub scouts on time afterwards. I have been a bad girl. I go to bed without brushing my teeth often. I get all the kids to bed and then the whole house is quiet and all I want is to go to bed . I definitely don't need one more thing to do. Maybe it's because I kind of rant the fact that everyone gets to sleep before I do. Either way, I would do well to remember the words Jeremy says to the kiddos: "Only brush the teeth you want to keep." o_O

Things are getting better. I guess the hurt is getting older. I still think odds it all the time. I can't quite get over this bump in the road, you know?  There are two things I keep coming back to in my mind. One is something my brother said in that letter. Well, I guess both kind of are. Anyway, I keep remembering how he didn't want to find out that the church wasn't true, but he said he was having doubts, so he started keeping track of them and ended up with twelve pages, single-spaced. There's an old saying that says, "What you focus on increases." Therefore, if you want to know that the church is true, it seems like it would be more productive to make a list of its goodness instead of what you see as faults. The more you look for things to be upset about, the more you'll find them. It's the same with people and life and anything else you can think of. But the opposite is also true, so it's probably time for me to stop nit-picking about what James said too. Time to focus on the goodness he brings regardless of differences in belief and on building good relationships.

The other thing I want to address, though, is something that I find pretty important, and that is that the Spirit testifies of truth. It has a distinct feel to it. There are things that make us happy, and then there's the warmth that the Spirit brings, and that warmth is how we know when something is true and from God. The Spirit also brings happiness, but there's a difference there, and it's important to know the difference. What we want is happiness that lasts, and that only comes from God.

So, yes, I've done some reevaluating. This craziness kind of shook me to my foundation. I haven't always agreed with James, especially lately, but I had always looked up to him because of his knowledge of the Gospel. Having him trash all of that made me stop in my tracks and say, "Oh my goodness! What if he's right?!" I think all of us did. Maybe? But I was really thankful to Jeremy for his steadfastness. He immediately knew what to do. He started calling my siblings to check on them. He's such a good guy. I've been so thankful for him!

Anyway, it didn't take long before I remembered when I first came to know that I knew the church was true. I was in college before I realized. And Jeremy actually helped me with that way back then. What I learned was that I already knew but just didn't quite recognize it. And now, looking back over the years, I realize more just how much I knew without realizing I knew it. And the way I see it now is through my actions. I think one reason why I spent so much effort worrying about finding my own testimony is that in church they would often tell us that we needed to find our own testimonies now that we were teenagers, and that we couldn't rely on our parents' testimonies forever. That combined with low self esteem and who knows what all else led me to believe that I didn't know yet. But I did! You could see it in my actions! And maybe I didn't quite understands what a testimony would feel like our look like. I'll tell you, though, that a testimony is a simple thing. All you do is figure out, "Do I believe that this is true?" And if your answer is yes, you're good. You've got a testimony. So I've resolved that with my own children maybe I don't need to call into question at all whether or not they have a testimony. They already do! All I need to do is encourage it and show them that that is what a testimony is.

Anyway, back from that derailment of my train of thought, I looked back at my life and how I knew all along while I was questioning whether I did know or not. I looked at the goodness the church brings to our lives. I went over all these things in my mind, and it didn't take me very long to be back on my feet. I know that the church is true. I know it. I know that God and Jesus live and that they love us. I know that they know and love us individually as well as collectively. I know that Jesus died for us and suffered for our sins and our hurts. I know that  Joseph Smith really saw God and Jesus like he said he did, and that he restored the true church with their help. And I know that Thomas S. Monson, our beloved prophet is truly a prophet of God.

Lot on my mind

Oops! Looks like I forgot to publish this! I wrote it a week ago yesterday. It was supposed to got before that one I wrote about my brother.

Update: his cast comes off Thursday, and now when he crawls he lays it on the floor and scoots it along like a ski. Ha ha!

Brom has about a week and a half left until he can get his cast off. Thank heavens! He plays happily and is walking more, so it doesn't appear to bother him much. I know kids this age are pretty resilient, but it still amazes me. I feel he is destined for great things. :)
Another thing that has captured and held my attention (and I ably say this here because it's a private blog and only like three people read it) is that my brother and his wife left the church. I've done a lot of thinking in the few days since he told us. I've reaffirmed my own testimony. I've questioned how I'm doing as a mother and then thought about how you can be the best mother on the planet and still have children fall away. I've thought about what it means to my children to have all of these uncles and aunts losing their testimonies. I've thought about what position it puts me and my family in. I've thought about how even though we don't want division in our families it's there. There are clear boundaries that didn't used to be there.
Argh! I just lost a big chunk of what I wrote! Well, that just messes up my dramatic narrative. ;)
I've talked with my parents and with Jeremy and my children. I've talked with some of my siblings and felt glad about how this kind of brings us together even though it stinks. I've thought and thought. I've turned things over and over. I've come back multiple times to the words my brother wrote in that letter. And then I've thought a million times again about what position this puts us in and what is being given up. It has been really hard.
But one neat thing is that throughout this experience, God has been showing glimpses of His love. One of them happened right after I read the letter. I had promised the children I would take them to the library, so I did. And Jill picked a book about the fruits of the Spirit. It's been a blessing to me to read it to her. It leaves that lovely, delicious feeling. And another thing is that we watched the second Night at the Museum. I guess Abraham Lincoln's saying stuck with Joshua because he just handed me this picture. It made me think that even though there are clear divisions in our families, we can hold it together. We already have.