Parent/Teacher Conferences

We had a really busy day on Wednesday.  Part of it was parent/teacher conferences, which the school inexplicably calls SEP.  Ok.  Anyway, here's how it went down.

Jeremy took care of the babies while I took Michael and met the older boys at their school right after classes ended for the day.  We went to Benji's class first.  His teacher pointed out a few problems he's been having.  She says that he saunters in late every morning.  She's told him that if he's not finished with breakfast when the first bell rings he's welcome to bring it with him, but he doesn't.  And then he puts his feet up and eats cookies.  Where is he getting cookies?  And what makes him think he can saunter in late and put his feet up?  His teacher loves him, but he definitely needs to show more respect.  She read me some of his stories, and they were fun.  Then she read me what he wrote for St. Patrick's Day.  He was given a clover to write on and decorate.  At the top were the words, "I am lucky because."  He crossed out those words and wrote something like this: "I'm not lucky because I don't get to play games as much as I want and I can only watch movies that I don't like and..."  You get the picture.  He gives me this attitude all the time, and his teacher says she gets it too.  It makes me sad.  Benji does have a hard time as a middle child.  I'm not sure how I help with that.  I do wish he could see how much he has to be thankful for.  Maybe that's something I can do.  Still, he's doing well overall.  He's learning a lot and his grades are great.

Next was Michael's appointment.  I went into his classroom hoping to see that his teacher knows him like the other boys' teachers know them.  I didn't find that.  It's probably because these half-day teachers have twice as many kids as the other teachers.  And maybe it's a little bit because they only have them for a few hours.  Well, Michael is doing well, anyway.  His scores on the mid-year tests they did in January were really high.  He'll get to start bringing home books that he can read soon.  Honestly, he was ready for that a while ago, but oh, well.  He's just doing great, especially in math.  He really likes math.

Next we went to Joshua's teacher.  He's has our Relief Society President for a teacher.  I love her.  Anyway, his grades are good.  She worries that he isn't doing so well on timed tests.  One big reason for that is that we've been spending so much time just trying to get his homework done that we haven't had much time for practicing math facts.  It's not that he's really given a lot of homework.  He comes home with a math assignment, a bit of spelling, and maybe a page of language arts.  I try to help him with his math as much as I can because he has a really, really hard time staying on-task.  And if I don't help him heg gets a bunch wrong and then has to spend time correcting them instead of getting some done on the next lesson.  And then we take forever to get it done at home.  Anyway, Joshua's homework has been a huge burden on both of us, and when we have especially busy days we sometimes end up working on it late or waking up early or both.  Not good. 

One concern with Joshua is that we think he has Asperger Syndrome.  You can Wikipedia that if you don't know what I'm talking about.  I've wanted to get him tested for a few years, but I haven't been able to figure out how to go about it.  I mentioned this to his teacher a couple of months ago when he was having an especially hard time and she wondered why.  Well at our conference on Wednesday she asked if I'd like her to find out about how to get him tested.  He told me that if he can get diagnosed they can get him an aide who would sit by him in class and help him stay focused and stuff.  He's understanding most of the material.  He just needs to stay focused.  She also said she worries that if he doesn't have help he may fall through the cracks in middle school.  I don't like that idea at all.  So, of course, the answer to her question was, "Yes, please!"  She said she'd ask a few people and find out.  Hallelujah!

Another thing she said is that the kids in Joshua's class really like him, and they all kind of rally around him.  The other day when he won some sort of Bingo game (looks like something that takes them a few weeks to win), they all were so excited for him.  They all cheered, and Joshua come home with a gigantic pencil that he's really enjoyed using ever since.  I love that!  I know people like Joshua who have just been outcasts.  I can't begin to explain how thankful I am that he has friends like that in his whole class.

Then we went to Hyrum's class.  He's also doing well.  His problem is that he's been forgetting to bring things home to finish, so he's had late work, and, therefore, he's not getting as much credit on things as he could.  This is worrisome as he's headed to middle school next year.  He needs to be more accountable.  Hyrum was actually really worried about going in to his conference.  He knew he'd had a bunch of late assignments and was really worried about what his score might be.  He was actually crying at one point during the meeting.  He just felt so bad.  Poor guy.  I came away feeling, though, that he's doing well.  Everybody can improve somewhere, but overall, one quarter's grades are not going to be the end of the world, and he really has a good grade.  I'm going to try to be more vigilant about making sure he gets things done, but he needs to remember to bring things home!

Hyrum is looking forward to middle school next year.  He wants to get into orchestra and play the violin.  Also, his teacher gave us something about a "maturation program" where they'll talk about how the kids' bodies are going to change.  Goodness.  Can you believe he's that old?

Something must be wrong with me

I really, really like looking outside.  I don't know why.  And maybe I just like it a lot since we moved away from that horrible eyesore that was across the street from our old house.  Either way, I'm always a little sad to close the blinds at the end of the day.  And today I almost teared up about it.  It makes me sad to shut myself off from outside.  So silly.

Editing...

I've complained about it before and I'll surely complain about it again.  I dislike this business of editing.  I'm working on my book again.  These books all seem to come out to be roughly 400 pages.  And while I'm glad that they're all written, I don't like doing the editing.  I have to make sure the layouts are flush and consistent, and I have to make spelling and grammar corrections.  It sounds like something I would enjoy, but I just don't enjoy it all that much.  I think I'd enjoy it a billion times better if I could print it and THEN edit it.  It's much more fun to edit something in my recliner with a red pen and my feet up. ;) But as it is about 400 pages, that's just not going to happen.

Also, as I'm reading through all these things I've written I keep asking myself how I really felt about certain things.  Sometimes I'm altogether too blunt when I'm upset while writing about things.  Sometimes I leave hints that I'm upset, but I kind of skirt around the problem.  I keep thinking that if I said what I was really thinking I'd have a clearer picture of who I was at that moment in time.  But if I did that it might be so good, you know?  Life is full of nit-picky little differences, and though they are there, focusing on them would probably be more destructive than informative.  At the same time, I keep reading through and wondering where I was in my little "journey," though I don't really relish calling it that.  I know that since I wrote those things I have grown and changed.  I also know that those things I wrote back in 2010 (Yes, I am behind.) to me sound shallow and not very thoughtful. I think back to what I was dealing with that I couldn't talk about, and it makes me wonder if I just sounded shallow and unthoughtful (Is that a word?) simply because I couldn't talk about that huge thing I was dealing with.  Was I trying to make it sound like things were just dandy?  Maybe I was.  And maybe I needed that at that moment in time.  Still, I don't want people to think that I'm not a thinker and that I'm shallow. 

And while we're on the subject, who am I, anyway?  I mean, am I the girl in my head who never stops thiking?  Am I the girl in the mirror that I'm not too sure about?  Am I the quiet girl that everybody else sees?  Aren't those interesting questions?  Certainly, I like myself, but sometimes I feel like there are all these versions of me and I'm never sure which one is really me, because just one of them can't be all there is to me.  And then am I a different person if I'm having a hard day or a splendid day?  And if that's true, then who is anybody?  I just trust that God knows who I am.  I am very much interested in getting his perspective on this matter.

And just so you know, yes, I'm writing this in a sleepy stupor.  I'm probably going to come back and read this and say, "What?"  I don't feel like I've even been able to even see clearly in the last week or so because I've been so tired.  I can't seem to shake it.

Timmy Update

Well, Timmy is doing better at this weaning business all the time.  I did nurse him for a few minutes the night before last.  Let's face it - I needed to relieve some pressure and he'd been screaming for a while.  I'm wishing I could do it again - right now.  I'm hurtin' pretty bad and I don't know where that silly pump is.  Massaging isn't doing much.  I'm all kinds of hurt today.  Cringing has given me a headache.

However, on the bright side, I don't remember for sure whether or not he woke up the night before last at all.  I'm a little hazy on the details.  I've been super tired the last few weeks.  But I do know that last night he didn't wake up at all!  That is simply amazing.  This is a boy who has 15 1/2 months and has only slept all the way through the night maybe twice in his whole life.  I'm hoping this is a trend we will continue, and I'm hoping he'll learn to nap without nursing (because he was finally starting to nap as long as I'd nurse him laying on the bed so he could stay asleep instead of needing to be laid down).  Fingers crossed!

And before I forget I'd better write right now - I was set apart yesterday as a visiting teaching supervisor.  I hand out stuff every month and collect numbers.  I took a walk yesterday to meet some of the people I supervise and collect numbers.  It was lovely.  The weather has been really nice in the afternoon.

Scrapbooking

I've decided that right now the biggest problem I have with the scrapbooking I see around that people have done (besides the time it takes and the necessity of having an endless supply of creative ideas) is that the pages are so busy they distract from the pictures.  When I open a book of pictures I want to notice the pictures, not the frills.  However, I do admit that I'm happy for the people who can make those and enjoy them.  I personally do not have the necessary endless supply of creative ideas.  My wedding book is embarrassing proof of that.  Something must be done about it...

Cold Turkey

Timmy is 15 1/2 months old and still has no interest in being done with nursing, even though he doesn't need to.  He just likes the comfort of it.  Well, given the fact that I've still been sleeping backwards in bed and waking up sore from struggling all night to stay on the bed, it's just time.  So yesterday I woke up deciding that that was the day we were going to go cold turkey.  That's the only thing I hadn't tried. 

He did really well all day.  I knew the night would be harder, and it definitely was.  Falling asleep nursing is what he's known his whole life.  It was painful for both of us to do this.  He screamed for a long time at bedtime because he was tired.  He just wouldn't go to sleep.  Jeremy finally took him and fed him (again), and he finally fell asleep around midnight. 

Then at 2:00 he woke up again and screamed.  He screamed until he was hoarse and kept screaming.  I tried holding him in every imaginable position, standing, sitting, rocking...  I soon realized that all I was doing was restraining him, not just holding him.  He was struggling to get away, but if I put him down he rolled around on the floor and screamed louder.  I finally took him downstairs and turned on Baby Signing Time on my computer.  Oh, my goodness.  I have never hated that show so much.  It just felt like it went on forever.  It's just not nearly as cute at 2:30 AM.  Timmy sure enjoyed it, though.  He kept sitting up and smiling, jabbering and waving his hands around.  And then he'd lay back against me and watch again for a bit.  Afterwards I turned it off.  I simply couldn't stand to watch it again.  He cried some more as I stood and bounced him, and he finally went back to sleep at about 3:00.  Hallelujah!  I crawled back in bed and fell instantly back to sleep.

He woke up one other time, but he fell right back asleep when I held him a bit.  I am so groggy this morning, and I have so much to do.  I am not looking forward to bedtime tonight.  It's not going to be fun.  I'm just praying that it gets better soon for his sake and mine. 

It kills me to wean my baby.  It means he's getting all big.  It feels like I just weaned Hyrum a few weeks ago, and now he's 11.  I'm not ready for my baby to grow up, and I hate thinking that I'm causing him sorrow by not giving him what he's known all his life.  Certainly, there are plenty of happy days ahead, but for now I'll allow myself to feel sad a bit at the passing of an age.

Blessed

For the last couple of days I've been going through a billion pictures and posting on the old blog.  Is it the fact that I just went to the Temple on Tuesday?  Or is it the fact that I took Excedrin this morning for a horrid headache?  Either way, I am feeling incredibly blessed.  I know that I don't always recognize how blessed I am, but every now and then the little things just suddenly get to me and I feel so thankful.  My life is full of happy children, and my computer is full of happy pictures of those happy children.  It is all more than I can grasp at or explain.  But at this point in time, I am very happy and thankful. :)

Yesterday was a really busy day.  I spent the morning cleaning and working on pictures.  When the boys got home from school I finished cleaning and made cookies for scouts.  Then I spent a little time with Jeremy while he was home for a bit.  Then we hurried off to scouts - me with all six of the children.  Then I hurried and made pizza dough, threw it in the fridge, threw on a dress, and dashed off to the church for my Temple Recommend interview.  After that I made pizza while Jill (who had decided she didn't need clothes) stood at the sink "helping."  She got a rag really, really wet and scrubbed and scrubbed a butter knife.  Then she tried to scrub down the cabinet doors with the same very wet rag.  The floor was soaked and so were the cabinet doors.  I could have been annoyed, but this is just another instance where she was honestly trying to help me, and I was thankful.  It was a really busy day, but it was filled with goodness.

At my interview our good bishop chatted with me about Jeremy's upcoming trip to Paris.  He made me promise a few times that I would ask for help when I need it ("because you're going to need it!  You're going to need some breaks!").  He told me to not forget that he has a ward family here with plenty of people who are happy to help.  I told him I had just been realizing on the trip over there that I'm going to need to be sure to get to the Temple, so I'll need to find help to do that.  He said, "Yes.  Definitely.  You be sure to do that."  He also counseled me to study the two roles of our Savior listed in one of the questions he asked me: Savior and Redeemer.  He said it's not required (of course), but that he's been studying that very thing and has been very blessed in doing so.  It's nice to have an assignment.  And I'm looking forward to being set apart on Sunday. :)