A Little (?) Update

Maybe it'll be little.  I guess we'll see. :)

I had a second ultrasound yesterday.  It was supposed to be the big one where we find out if we're having a boy or a girl, but the little one did not cooperate.  This is our first one who did this to us!  I couldn't believe it.  I even drank orange juice to make sure he/she could move around good, and he/she did, but with his/her legs firmly crossed.  We don't get another shot until early October!  Still, the baby is healthy, and I'm thankful!  He/she is growing right on schedule.  I was honestly kind of mad, though.  I wanted to know what color yarn to buy and which clothes to start stocking up on.  Well, October is sooner than December.  I'll have time.  Jeremy is convinced this is a girl.  I guess we'll see.

This pregnancy has been progressing, but it's been kind of hard.  I knew it would be, but it's different knowing it's going to be hard than experiencing it.  A couple of months ago I was already pulling muscles in my hips.  It makes me nervous for the rest of the pregnancy.  I don't always know what I did wrong that pulled the muscle, but I can sure feel it!  It's usually on my right hip I think.  Anyway, today I was just in bed and I rolled a tad to the right and somehow that pulled my muscle pretty far.  It hurt!  I've also been having LOTS of headaches.  Normal for me is usually 1-2 headaches per month, but during the last month or two I've been having them most days of the week.  It really stinks.  I forgot to ask the doctor about it yesterday.  I always forget, and that's silly.  I used to have to take a list of questions, but then I have to remember to look at it.  I guess Dr. Joe makes me feel so positive and upbeat I forget anything is ever cockeyed.  I guess I didn't have one yesterday.

I took Jill with me yesterday, partly because Jeremy couldn't go.  We both thought she'd enjoy it, and she kind of did.  I think she had a hard time making anything out on the screen.  I didn't explain beforehand that the pictures would be a bit blurry.  I know that she was glad she went and she did enjoy some things, but she wished we would go be outside by the pond or playing in the elevator.  Ha ha!  When the doctor came in she was suddenly all shy and hid under the table until he listened to the heartbeat.  Then he asked her if she wanted a cookie, and then she pestered him to get her one until we could get out of that room. :) They were little sugar cookies.  There were strawberry shaped ones and flower shaped ones.  She picked a flower.

I had really hoped that yesterday we would know boy or girl so that Jill and I could go do a little shopping.  I wanted to buy a pluggie and an outfit in the appropriate colors.  I was so bummed!  I thought it would be fun to have Jill there to help me pick.  Well, when we didn't know I decided we needed to do something fun to celebrate our little outing.  I hadn't been to Krispy Kreme in a long time, so I suggested we go there.  It was fun to take her in and have her pick a donut and watch the donut machine, but I think we both wished we hadn't gotten donuts by the end.  It was too much sugar and not as yummy as I expected.  Oh, well. :)

Yesterday after I got home Jeremy and I went to sign papers for the new house.  I think there are one or two that somebody forgot, but for the most part the house is ours now.  Exciting!

We have been thinking about school for the next year, and it seems like it would be a wise thing to get Benji and Michael into school, and possibly Jill.  I know that they might be a bit behind, so we've been trying to work on that.  We are considering just putting Jill in kindergarten.  She just turned 6 last month, so she wouldn't be terribly far behind.  Joshua doesn't want to go back, and Hyrum is registered for college, so I don't think he's going back either.  That's ok.  Timmy is 4 and knows most if not all of his letters, so I'm hoping this year we can start some simple reading with him.  I'm going to miss those kiddos while they're at school, but I will feel a little bit freed up, and they are looking forward to going.

And since we're thinking about putting them in school (and since Hyrum is going to go to EAC in Thatcher), we'd better get moved over there pretty soon!  I was thinking about maybe August 1 or August 8, but I don't know how in the world we can.  I've been so tired and overwhelmed.  Jeremy's always at work, and this week we have the Burk family campout.  I just don't know how it's going to get done.  I feel like it's all on me. :P I know we don't have to be 100% moved all at once, though.  Maybe I should just pack the most important things next week and move them on Saturday - if Saturday is even free.  I guess we'll see.  That may be the best thing to do.  I also need to get utilities set up, and we're having the swamp cooler switched out for an HVAC unit.  We wanted to get just an AC unit, but the people said that this is the only way for some reason.  Just the way everything's set up, I guess.  They said they can have it all done in like 3 days, but we need to get over there to talk things over with them, even though they've already given us a quote.  I'm thankful that Jeremy is insisting on getting this done before we move.  He doesn't want to send his pregnant wife over there with just a swamp cooler.  Nice boy. :)

And now for some recent pictures - from June and July

Here is the turtle Jill found in our yard.  I think that I talked about that in the last post.  She named him Fwed.

Hyrum liked this waterfall at the Temple.

In June we took a little trip to St. Johns to see my parents, and we met them in Snowflake on the way.  My dad, Jeremy, and I took Hyrum and Joshua to the Snowflake Temple to do baptisms.  It was so wonderful!  There were just boy names, so I didn't participate this time, but it was such a privilege to watch!  There is nothing like being in the Temple as a family, especially watching the boys' reactions as they perform the sacred work there.  It's just so beautiful. :) And while we were in the Temple my mama took the rest of the kiddos on a little tour of Snowflake, telling them all about their Peterson ancestors who lived there.  It sounds like it was a pretty neat tour.  I'm so thankful that she did that!  They are rightly proud of their heritage. :)

This picture actually goes before the old one.  Here are the boys just after we all came out - all wet and squinting in the sun, but happy. :)

 

 

This was Jill's birthday cake.  We haven't had a working oven for like 3 months, so I baked the square cake pieces in the oven.  It kind of worked, I guess.  And then I made rice crispy treats for the towers and stuff.  Jeremy made the archway, the drawbridge, and the dealies on top, and Michael, Jill and I made the towers.  (That short one on the right was Jill's.)  Benji made the flags on the towers, and then Michael made a few more to go in the middle.  It looked pretty great, and it was a lot of fun to do together.  My only regret is that I forgot the sprinkles, and Timmy would have been just the guy to do those.  He would have loved that!  Oh, well.  It was Grandma's turn for Sunday dinner, so we took the cake over there.  It got hot in the car, and the towers started kind of melting and flopping over.  It was a big mess before we got there.  I'm glad we took pictures first.  Ha ha! 

 

 

Here's Jill opening her presents. :)

 

 

Jill dressed up for the Fourth of July - red white and blue! :) She wanted to wear just the blue tutu on the bottom, but that was not allowed, for obvious reasons.  Ha ha!

 

Just a cute picture of Papa and Bubby :)

 

Aaron's lab rats (the ones he keeps to feed his snakes) had babies, so he let Joshua have one.  It's a boy named Mordecai!  He's so little and cute!  He seems more active than Scratchy was.  You can already tell his personality is a little different.  And right now he lives in a small rectangular fish tank.  It works pretty good since he's so small. :)

Cute little fella!

Bubby has stolen my phone a lot and taken lots of strange pictures.  This one was at the store.

 

Brookie got baptized last Saturday. :) Jeremy was in St. George for the wedding of a good friend, but the rest of us were able to go to the baptism.  I was really stressed about going without Jeremy's help.  Timmy and Bubby sometimes go nutso at the same moment, and I didn't know what I could possibly do if that happened.  I brought my phone and my Galaxy tablet, and they stayed happy and entertained for most of the time, though.  It worked good.  It's such a blessing to be able to go to these!  I'm so proud of my nephews and nieces!  They're pretty great people. :)

 

And I like this picture of Aaron and Brookie. :) I should have demanded a picture of Brookie and Michael since Brookie is Michael's favorite cousin, but I guess I didn't think of it in time.  I'm more of a go-with-the-flow kind of photographer.  I like to just take opportunities as they arise instead of demanding.  Guess I'd better get more bossy. ;)

 

Here's Brookie all baptized.  I did actually ask her to hold still for this one. ;)

 

Bubby had a great time playing on the stage during dinner - until he jumped off!  He got right back up and tried to climb up and do it again, and that's when he was not allowed to go on the stage anymore. ;)

 

Michael and Bubby

 

Jill and Bubby (can you tell I was chasing Bubby? ;) )

 

And then I went home and madly cleaned the children's rooms because it was our turn for Sunday dinner.  Here is Timmy giving me a hug break. :) And then in my worry about the lesson I had to give in Relief Society I forgot to put the roast in the crockpot in the morning, so at 6:00 PM it still wasn't done for some reason.  (Did I mention this was a doozy of a weekend for me?  It was!  All day Friday I worked on my lesson and neglected my children. And when I actually gave the lesson I started bawling uncontrollably in the middle and almost didn't recover.  So embarrassing!  I've cried in a lesson, but not that hard!  So lesson prep on Friday.  Baptism on my own on Saturday, including a super bloody Timmy nose.  Lesson and Sunday dinner on Sunday.  And Jeremy wasn't home until 2:30 AM on Sunday, so he was dead tired, and I was pretty tired myself.)  Maybe I didn't put in enough water in the crockpot.   And I'd spent a whole lot of time trying to get the kitchen clean, so the potatoes weren't started, and really, why start the potatoes if there's no roast to eat with them?  We ended up just eating a simple dinner on our own and then going to Grandma's for dessert.  That was her suggestion.  I was bummed because I'd worked so hard!  Oh, well.  It was nice to have it clean for ourselves.

 

Here's Jill outside at the doctor's office with her cookie.  I paused here to let her eat her cookie and look at the ducks on the pond while I called Jeremy.  She's such a cute girly. :)

Stuff

I don't think I've mentioned this again, but Joshua was still having issues with heartburn - all the time!  It sounds like it was a pretty constant thing.  He saw an ad one day for Lactaid, which he'd tried before, but whatever persuasive argument they used made him want to try it again.  So for the last few months I've been buying him Lactaid, and he hasn't had heartburn nearly as much.  Thank heavens!  He's such a funny guy.  He doesn't pay attention to things like that, so before, when I asked if the Lactaid helped he didn't know.  This time he paid better attention.  I'm glad it helps, even if it is more expensive and he goes through it really fast!  He can have regular milk in small amounts and be fine.  And our regular milk consumption has dropped.  Ha ha!  He is definitely the biggest milk drinker we have.

Joe got a job!  He talked to the builder who is building Aaron's house in Pima, and he hired him right away.  So Joe and BreAnna packed up their newly-fixed truck and moved to a little apartment in Thatcher.  I'm really glad for Joe.  It's so good for him to have a job.  I think it does something for a man, especially a married man, that nothing else can.  And I think it's one he'll do well at.  Now, if we can just get BreAnna's mom and grandma to leave them alone!  They're always making them do things and take care of people.  Joe and BreAnna lived with Joe's parents at first, and then when they moved BreAnna's grandma left 3 or 4 kids at their house.  BreAnna has always had to take care of all the kids, even as she was growing up herself, and it looks like the matter of an hour and a half distance isn't far enough.  Supposedly, she's supposed to pick them up on Thursday, but man!  Married people need to have at least some time alone!  Especially just starting out when you have a tiny house and not enough food for a billion people.

I've also been thinking a lot about our moving to Thatcher.  It's coming up, whenever we decide to move.  We had decided to move in December right before the baby comes, but we've been thinking it over and praying about it, and it's looking like we may move sooner.  That would mean that Jeremy's going to commute for a while.  But even if he did get a job in Thatcher he might commute anyway because he is supposed to teach at the college here in Globe.  And Susie actually signed up to take Jeremy's class!  And the more teaching he gets in the better it will look on his resume.  Anyway, we'll figure it out.  We have over a month before college classes start.

Did I mention that Jeremy didn't get the job at Edward Jones?  I don't understand it, and it makes me so sad to be back at square one when we thought we had it in the bag.  (Overconfidence?  Probably.)  Well, we'll keep trying.  I know that God knows how it'll work out, so we'll just keep trying.

I've been worrying a bit about different things with the move - a job, a doctor, finding friends...  Last time we lived in Thatcher we were newlyweds.  We had no friends in our ward and pretty much no friends anywhere in town.  People were nice to us, but we just didn't really have friends.  And the friends we had before we got married pretty much stopped contact with us as soon as we were married.  And that area is kind of cliquish anyway, kind of keeping to themselves.  I was so lonely!  I've worried that I would just be lonely again, and I've prayed that we can all find friends.

This last Sunday Jeremy decided we needed to go to Thatcher and go to the ward we'll be living in.  It's actually the same ward where we lived when we were newlyweds, and it's the same ward Joe is in too.  I was super tired and had a headache coming on, so I did not want to go, but I left it up to Jeremy, and he decided we should go, so off we went.  The building that the ward is supposed to meet in is under renovation right now, so the wards that attend there and the young single adult ward are all squished into the Institute across the parking lot for the summer.  There's no possibility of overlapping wards because of the way things are set up, so each ward goes for just two hours - one hour for Sacrament Meeting and one for classes. 

So we showed up, and we were actually about 30 minutes early.  Better than late!  Jill had been pretty much asleep when I got her dressed and brushed her hair just before we got in the car, and then she ate some Cheerios out of a bag and then fell asleep on the drive.  When we got there her hair was all down in her face and wouldn't stay back.  Jeremy took her aside and braided her hair and then make a ribbon by folding duct tape so the sticky was all in the inside, and then he died the end of the braid.  It worked great! :)

Church at the Institute is in the gym.  The ceiling is really high, and there was a lot of extra space in the back.  Between the empty space and all the new people and the new surroundings, Timmy was stimming like crazy.  He couldn't hold still, and he couldn't be quiet.  Really, asking him to under those circumstances are pretty fruitless, but I tried anyway.  Ha ha!  I did give him his Play-Doh.  That's always helpful because busy hands take some of the pressure off that comes that kind of environment.  Seriously, even a lot of people that he's familiar with is still a lot of people, still overwhelming for him.  And then Michael kept trying to steal the Play-Doh and the cup and lid.  Timmy uses all 3 for his Play-Doh creations.  Every time Michael took something Timmy would fuss.  That stinker of a Michael wouldn't stop!  Finally, after spending half of Sacrament Meeting in the foyer with a squirrelly Bubby, Jeremy took Timmy out too.  Poor guy. 

All the while I was trying to shush people and pay attention to the speakers and look around and see if there was anyone who could be my friend.  Sometimes you just know when you see someone, you know?  Anyway, I just wasn't sure, but I can't tell you how nice it was to be in the Institute again!  So many memories there! 

After Sacrament Meeting there was a letter from the church leaders that was read to the adults and the youth separately, and then I took Bubby to nursery.  He didn't like being grabbed by the guy who grabbed him, even though he was a nice-looking guy.  I was surprised the guy didn't show him the toys immediately instead of trying to talk him down.  But since that guy seemed so happy to have Bubby there I just went ahead a left, much to Bubby's dismay.  It sounds like he settled down pretty quickly, though, and he was quite happy when I picked him up later. 

And on my way back to Sunday School I ran into Jill who the teachers were trying to coax into the "classroom," which happened to be the Institute library!  Oh, man!  Do you know the sweet memories I have of that very room?  I remember presidency meetings there with sweet old ladies I will never forget.  And most of all, I remember studying there.  Sometimes I brought schoolwork there, but soon before my endowment in the Temple (I can't remember if this was before Jeremy came home of after), I went to that library and read books that helped me learn a bit more about the Temple.  Specifically, I read from The Encyclopedia of Mormonism.  Such a great set of books!  I wish I had some in my home library.  But they are available on the BYU website. :) Anyway, I learned a lot, and I felt more prepared and excited because of it.  Bless that old library!

Anyway, I told Jill I'd come and sit with her, so I did.  Apparently, what made Jill so hesitant was that she was afraid of the teacher's eye.  It sounds like she'd had surgery on it or something, and so the white of her eye was completely red.  She was such a nice lady, but I guess her eye was too scary for Jill.  I sat through most of the lesson, and then I wanted to go to Relief Society, so I just took Jill with me.  Jeremy had Timmy.  I don't think there was any chance at all that we'd be able to get him to go to Primary anyway.  Maybe when we move we'll transition him in there. 

Sunday School was over, so Jeremy had taken Timmy with him and gone to Priesthood, and he'd taken the bag with my tablet with him.  When Jill found that the tablet was gone she insisted that we go find Papa immediately.  I had no idea where he was.  It turned out that he'd gone over to the old building across the parking lot (not the chapel, but the little old building that was part of the old Church Street Chapel that burned so long ago), but at the time I had no idea where he might be.  I'd seen some men in the game room/lobby area having their class, but I figured Jeremy wasn't there because they appeared to be high priests.  Anyway, I told her that, no, we couldn't go find him.  Being the stubborn girlie that she is, she stood up and started slowly backing toward the door.  A lady across the aisle from me noticed her and didn't know she was mine, and she asked if she could help her.  Anyway, long story short, Jill came back and sat with me, and then the lady came and sat by us and let Jill play with her Kindle Fire.  Phew!  She was so nice.  She sat and talked to me and seemed so pleased that we were moving in.  I was so glad to have somebody come and sit by me and be happy that we were there!  Plus, I had an enormous headache!  I've had a lot of headaches lately.  It's part of being pregnant for me, but this one was the worst in recent memory.  Anyway, because Carolyn came and sat by Jill I was able to run out to the car and find the headache medicine we keep out there.  And then it dawned on me that my prayer for a friend had clearly been answered!  I almost cried right there on the spot!  I'm so happy about it!  I mentioned it later, and Hyrum kept telling me to calm down and thought I was a silly ninny for being so happy about finding a friend.  Ha ha!  Actually, he'd never use the word ninny, but you get the idea.

Anyway, that was a long story.  Oh, well.  It's written.  I guess the thing is that even though it was a struggle to go to church there that day, it was a day filled with blessings as well.

Stuff I should have already said - ha ha!

OK.  I don't know why, but I've had the tendency to keep things under my hat lately.  I didn't intend to tell anyone about our baby coming until I was 12 weeks.  I told at around 8 or 9 I think.  I haven't been telling anyone about the possibility of moving soon, but I'll do that here right now.  And I'd better hurry up because it's time to pack for the Badger campout! :)

So we have this little baby coming.  I want to say it's a girl, but I just don't feel one way or the other.  Jeremy is sure it's a girl.  I am about 13 1/2 weeks right now.  On July 9 I'll be 16 weeks, so any time after that I should be able to find out what I'm having.  My next appointment is a week from today, though, and that's awful close to July 9.  I might decide to wait until 4 weeks again.  I just don't know.  I look like if I'm this far along I'm probably carrying twins.  Huge!  But we did an ultrasound a few weeks ago, and it's only one baby.  I'm kind of relieved!  I don't think my body could take it.

Cute little one!

I haven't even spread the word on Facebook yet.  I might wait until the end for that.  I don't know.  I have a friend who was expecting just a few days before me, and she had a miscarriage.  And what makes it worse is that she lost a baby just 6 months or so before that.  It breaks my heart.  I just don't feel like I could tell her.  Of course, if it were me I'd feel sad about it whenever I was told, but still.  Plus, I'm feeling all hush-hush anyway.  It's not that I'm really worried about what people will say or anything.  I can't put my finger on why. 

The other thing is that we're thinking of moving.  That's not really new.  We've been scheming about how to get back to Cedar City since we left.  The sad thing is that Jeremy's brother and sister who live in Globe are suddenly moving before we are, and we're the ones who've been wanting to leave for so long.  Boooo!  Anyway, yeah, Aaron moved to Pima so he can teach at EAC.  They'll pay him way better there, and it's going to be great.  Poor Kenzie is melting, though!  They're building a new house right next to that little pond that's sort of near Kimberly's old house, and ground should be broken for it tomorrow.  Exciting!  And Austin and Becca are moving back to Rexburg to be near some of Austin's siblings.  That one seems counterintuitive to me.  He doesn't have a job.  They don't have a house.  I think he might be planning to keep working on freelance illustration, but I'm not sure how they've been paying their bills as it is.  I'm kind of worried about them.  Still, it's not for me to decide, and they're not the first people who have moved somewhere without having a job in place.  *wink, wink*

So anyway, here's a link to the house listing on Trulia.  It's right near the stadium.  When I looked out the front door I could see people diving off the diving board at the pool.  We looked at a few different houses that day, one of which was just gorgeous!  But when we stepped into this one it felt different.  It felt more like us.  I hadn't considered it at first because it only has 4 bedrooms.  And as it turns out, one of the bedrooms is tiny!  But we have a plan. One of the walls has a big fireplace, as you can see in the pics.  And as much as I like the little sittin' spot across that wall that goes with the fireplace, we don't want a fireplace.  We're going to take it out.  And on the other side of that wall is the garage.  We're going to make it into 2 bedrooms and put the four older boys in there.  That means that we'll have to run air ducts as well, but we can do that.  I like how big the other bedrooms are.  The house is recently painted, and I like the colors they chose.  The pictures on that website don't include the big yellow family room or the big master bedroom.  The kitchen is on the small side, and I'm worried a little bit about fitting our big table in the dining room.  We're going to set up the big one.  We kind of need it.  But I was thinking that maybe what we should do is take out some of the carpet from the living room and extend the tiled surface.  The carpet and kitchen floor kind of need replaced anyway.  The carpet is old and the kitchen floor was done poorly. I wish it wasn't because I like the color of it, but if we have to extend it anyway, well, I guess we could go see if they have it at Home Depot and then patch the gaps with putty or grout or something, huh?

Also, the pantry is big!  Hooray!  And there are lots of closets and a fenced backyard and a big pine tree out front!  The downstairs bathroom is tiny, and since it's right by where the boys' rooms will be we want to expand it and add a shower.  That would be smart!  That would mean we'd have to move the washer and dryer hookups and take out a door, but it's doable.

And another nice thing is that the loan we're getting will not require a down payment.  We'll help pay closing costs, but I'm glad we don't have to pay a huge chunk of money!  That will make these upgrades possible.  We still have a big chunk of money from selling the house in Utah, and that will help. :)

We are also looking into a job.  When Benji was a baby (I think that's when it was) Jeremy was trying to get on at Edward Jones.  They turned him down back then.  We were very disappointed, and we think it was kind of a personal thing.  The guy that was thinking about hiring Jeremy happened to be the father of a guy who really, really wanted to marry Katie and got turned down and was super, super bitter about it.  Looking back, though, I wouldn't have changed it.  We've done a lot of other good things, and I'm thankful.  But this time, there's a guy in Thatcher (I believe) who happens to be about to retire from Edward Jones.  That means that there will already be a load of clients who will need a guy to help them.  So Jeremy is working on that process.  On Saturday he worked on second load of paperwork, and it took like 2 hours!  They wanted to know IRS stuff and his cumulative GPA and all his addresses and employers for like the last 10 years.  It was a crazy amount of questions.  Now they'll run a bunch of background and IRS checks.  I sure hope he can get this!  It would be great!  He's been wanting to own his own business, and this is right up his alley.  We'd been looking at something similar in Cedar City, but it had some things he didn't like.  One was that he'd start out pounding the pavement selling insurance.  He hates insurance!  The other was that he'd be working for commissions right from the start.  And he'd have to pay for all his own training.  At Edward Jones they'll pay for his training, and the first thing he'll get is an investor's license.  Perfect!  He's really excited about that.  And they start you at salary for the first few years, and the salary is comparable to the salary at your last job, and then you switch to commissions.  So we're sure praying that this will work out! 

Now as for reasons why we're moving and why Thatcher:

1. We're getting to where we just don't fit very well here, and this house is broken.  We also have a currently awful cockroach problem.  Nothing we do seems to be making a dent.  It is so distressing.  And that's a huge understatement.  At least we're not dealing with mice... for now.  We got rid of that population, but they have this tendency to come back.  OK, that's enough venting.

2. We want to get out of Globe.  It's just not the kind of environment we want for our children.  We lived in Thatcher when Hyrum was born, and we liked it there.  The only downsides: heat, allergies, cliques.  I'm a little worried that I'll be unable to find friends, but the nice thing is that I have a friend who is working at EAC across the street, and she can come and see me! :) Plus, we survived the heat and allergies before, and this time we're armed with inhalers, a nebulizer, and allergy medicine that works. :)

3. The house is about 5 minutes from a Temple! 

4. Aunt Stacey (my Mama's sister) is the same distance away as the Temple!  And Aaron is not much further, and Paul is in Safford.  Pfff!  So much for worries about friends!

5. Hyrum has started college, and being in Thatcher right across from EAC would make it so easy for him to take as many classes as he wants.  Plus, Joshua is close on his heels age-wise, and we've got a bunch more kiddos.

I'm sure there are more reasons.  That's enough for now.  But anyway, we made an offer.  They countered.  We accepted.  Then they countered their counter, and we said no.  So then they canceled their counter counter, and off we go.  We will be doing inspections this week.

And now I'd better get!  Gonna be a busy week!

Learning Stuff

Yesterday I was working on my lesson for Relief Society on Sunday.  I wish I didn't have to do it!  Man!  But it'll come out fine.  It just needs some more work.  Anyway, President Benson taught me something in that lesson I'd never thought of before.  Do you know why we all bawl when we bear our testimonies?  It's because the Spirit speaks through feelings.  Duh!  So there you go.  You're welcome.  Now we know why we all bawl, even though we wish we wouldn't.  At least it's a good measuring stick that says we're feeling the Spirit, and we wouldn't want to give that up.

Also, I've been helping Hyrum with a family history slideshow for the Badger family campout next week (read: I've kind of taken over the whole thing because it wasn't getting done and Hyrum was having fun playing online with his cousin Thomas and I figured this was something I'd really enjoy anyway, so...).  I'm still going to have Hyrum help me.  I just got going.  Anyway, it's been so fun for me!  It blows me away that we can have so many in-depth stories about people who lived so, so long ago!  Also, I keep thinking what a great thing FamilySearch is!  It's such a neat collaboration!  I was realizing the other day that if there's only one copy of someone's life story and it went to another sibling that we're not descended from and didn't get passed around, it's a pretty good thing that we can get that now!  How else would that work?  Cool, cool, cool!

Anyway, two things I learned that keep coming back to me: 1. Ann Cannon was such an upbeat lady!  All these troubles she went through, but in her journal she kind of glosses over them and then points out that, "We had great fun at our campfires.  We had great fun doing this.  The winter in Winters Quarters was a fine winter."  What?!  It makes me wonder if she was on the same trek as everyone else. ;) And 2. Did you know that Nancy Garr lived with a dislocated shoulder for the last 17 years of her life?  She was climbing up on a rickety old box to get a chicken to fix up and take to somebody who was sick, and the box broke.  There was no medical attention available anywhere around, so she just lived with it!  Phew!

I sometimes think I mention the little kiddos way more than the big kiddos.  I guess it's because they grow and change so much faster.  But I do want to point out that it's been really neat for me to have Hyrum and Joshua be teenagers.  They're such neat people!  They've always been sure of themselves, but even that has reached a new level.  They're comfortable being themselves (we all know how rare that is), and they have tasted how delicious the gospel is and have made it part of their lives.  I think the way Joshua talks about the gospel makes me just a bit giddy.  He obviously has a testimony and in his orderly, autistic way he can't see how things could possibly be different.  If I mention the Temple he exclaims, "We need to go to the Temple!"  And what a blessed experience to watch his Papa help him perform those baptisms a few weeks ago!  He came up out of the font dripping and moving his lips like he was trying not to smile, just like he used to when he was little.  That's how you can tell that he is truly, truly pleased. :)

Also, I CANNOT wait to take Benji!  He'll be old enough in just less than 6 months! :)

Michael had Cub Scout Day Camp last week.  He  kept saying at the start that he didn't want to go, but you wouldn't be able to guess that when he got there and got his t-shirt (his favorite color, even!).  This year their theme was heroes, and each of the three days they had a different group of heroes visit them.  First it was soldiers, then the Sheriff, and then fire fighters.  Pretty cool. :) He got all sorts of goodies and had a great time!

Benji really needs us to have a good scout program here.  It would be such a blessing to him.  When the older scouts do something away from the church (like every other week it seems), the 11-year-old scout leaders like to just cancel.  And Jeremy gets like one day a month to work on scouts as scoutmaster.  That's not how scouts is designed to work.  He can't possibly make it work that way.  No wonder he's so disgruntled about it.  He feels like he doesn't have time to be a good scoutmaster because of all that he has going on, and the young men leaders don't know anything about scouts or how it works, so they just plan whatever they want whenever, leaving way too little time for actual scouts.  Anyway, it's sad.  The great thing about scouts is that they go and feel like they belong to something neat, and they work on things that they can be proud of.  That would be just the ticket for Benji!  But no such luck. :P

One thing I ought to mention - last Friday Joe got married.  Crazy, huh?  He graduated on June 5 and got married a week later, the 12th.  He won't be 18 until next month, and BreAnna is 16.  They're so young and it kind of freaks me out.  Of course they can make this work but WILL it work out?  I don't know. :( I hope they'll be ok.

Still, the wedding turned out nice.  Dad's last living brother came with his wife (Uncle Gerald and Aunt Clariece) to help in the kitchen, and so did another brother's widow and her son (Aunt Luella and Chris).  Oh, it was so good to see them!  We had a great little chat. :) BreAnna looked lovely in her puffy dress.  Jill was so happy that she got to go to the wedding.  It was outside at the stake center, and then the reception was in the gym.  And Joe looked quite dapper.  Katie bought him an actual bowtie that you have to tie, so he was on YouTube figuring it out with his friend.  It came out good. :)

Jill and Jocee waiting for the wedding to start.  They ended up sitting by Aaron and Kenzie, squished on one chair and happy as could be.

 

 

And waiting. ;)

 

 

The wedding party - BreAnna's uncle walked her down the aisle.  He's on the right in the vest.  Rachel, Susie, and BreAnna's sister Amber were the Bridesmaids.  I don't know the flower girl, but she was obviously super happy with her pretty fluffy dress. :) Bishop McBride (Joe's bishop in 1st Ward) married them.  He's such a good, good man.  He's given them good advice and been loving and caring through this whole thing.  BreAnna's little brother Isaiah (aka "Bug") was the ring bearer.  The groomsmen, left to right, were Jaden, Nick Smyers, and some guy I didn't know.

 

All official!  Mr. And Mrs. Joe Burk!

 

 

The cake (I have to interject here - remember on Father of the Bride how the wedding planner says cake?  That's how Bubby says it too.  Ha ha!)

 

After cutting the cake. :) 

This boy was obsessed!  As soon as he saw the cake he wouldn't rest until he had some, so I plunked him down on the counter in the kitchen, and he enjoyed it so much! :)

 

Jeremy, Chris, Aunt Luella, Uncle Gerald, and Aunt Clarice

We had such a great talk sitting here in the Young Women's room away from the crowds.  For us, it was definitely the best part of the whole evening. :)

 

 

Now, I bet you can guess, but, yes, Joe and BreAnna did have to get married.  Yes, BreAnna is pregnant, due in September.  It was either get married or give up the baby.  It's hard to say which is the best choice.  Either way is hard, and it's not my choice to make.  The best we can do is make sure they know they're loved as they go through this together.  I've worried and hashed it all through in my mind over and over, all the things that they are going to have to learn the hard way.  It's indescribably sad to me.  But it's supposed to be so happy.  Truth be told, BreAnna's family is very happy, but from their perspective, with their life experience you can hardly blame them.  (Dang!  That sounds snooty and mean.  I do not mean it that way.  I just mean that our perspectives are not the same and I don't fault them for it.)  And, yes, I'm excited for Joe that he gets to be a dad.  I'm excited to be an aunt to their cute baby.  Yes, it was a fun wedding and it was nice to celebrate and give them gifts.  I just wish it could have happened a few years down the road and in a better way, you know?

 

And right now Joe and BreAnna are living at Mom and Dad's house and Joe is looking for a job.  His truck is still broken, so they don't have a car.  It feels super awkward going over there.  And Joe is kind of being babied still.  That doesn't help.  It's time to man up to the responsibility he has chosen.  I wish they could move far away.  It would be such a great opportunity for them.  They need to learn to rely solely on each other.  Oh, I just hope they can make it, but I'm super scared for them.

 

Also, I do want to assert that these guys are good kids who just did things out of order.  Yes, it's going to bring them a lot of grief and they will have to repent to move on, but there's no way that you could watch Joe and not come away saying that he's a good kid.  I suppose I should be honest here, too, and say that I hardly know BreAnna at all, even though they've been dating for like 2 or 3 years.  She never seems to want to have anything to do with the rest of us.  She and Joe are always off together with her family or sitting there playing on their phones.  That freaks me out too - these people who can't put their phones down.  How do relationships survive like that?  BreAnna is a nice girl.  She just doesn't seem interested in having a relationship with anyone but Joe.

 

Well, that's enough of me and my judge, judge, judging.  Time to move on.

Thinking

So just the other day I was reminded of the last name of the people who were our tenants here in this very house.  I guess it must have been bopping around in my head because today I did something I never thought of doing.  I looked the lady up on Facebook.  How do I know it was really her, you ask?  I know because her cover photo has 4 cute little Mexican kids peeking out a semi-broken screen door - the very same one that is still attached to this house.  You can see into the hall.  You can see the shadow box that's by the front door.  It is so surreal.  It kind of haunts me.  I stared and stared at that picture, and then I went back on her page to 2012 and read some of her posts. 

Now, as far as we know, she had hard times with her husband, possibly lost her kids, and skipped town after her husband went to jail, leaving pretty much everything the family owned in the house.  (We had to pay somebody to remove it all and clean things up.  It was A LOT of stuff!  And we found a few more things after we moved in too.  One was an old picture.  It was a wallet sized photo of a man, and I wonder how much stuff like that she lost.  It must have been heartbreaking.)  In looking at her posts, I think I found where she went when she skipped town because right about that time she has a bunch of pictures of her in Nashville and at Graceland.  There are also lots of posts about how she messed up really bad and lost everything and wished she could fix it all.  You bet I wish there was something in there like, "Landlords, I'm sorry we ruined your house and stopped paying the rent."  But alas, there was only stuff about her ruined relationships and how much she missed her kids.

You know, though, it doesn't take a genius to know that that stuff (relationships and kids) is more important than our house or the rent money.  We have survived.  It's true I'm embarrassed about our broken house and that every day I wish we could fix it all or leave.  But what I hope is that she is moving on, away from the abusive man she had married, and working to make things better, even if she never pays what she owes us.  (Grumble, grumble, we went to court over it and were awarded a good deal of money to fix things, but she never paid and surely never will, grumble, grumble.)  It doesn't look like she's ditched the guy, though.  It makes me kind of sad.

I see so many unhappy people here in Globe.  So many people have ruined their lives just like their parents and grandparents ruined theirs.  It's all that anybody seems to know around here.  It's sad and scary.  People are snatching happiness wherever they can find it, but it doesn't last.  You can see that the lady realized somewhere in there what was truly important and how she had given it up through her bad choices, but that that realization didn't really change everything that needed changed.  Is it because people don't know how to change, or because they don't know anything different?  It reminds me of the Book of Mormon where the sin is on the heads of Laman and Lemuel and not their children because the parents didn't teach them right.  And in that case, since this extends back for so long, whose head is going to have such an innumerable amount of sins upon it?  Isn't that a scary thought?

And in closing, hallelujah for headache medicine.  It is a huge blessing to me!  At the same time, though, between the caffeine from the medicine and the state I'm in, I'm waxing way too philosophical!  Time to call it quits for today.

A Gate and Stuff

A couple of months ago we had kind of a crisis around here.  It was so traumatic to me that I couldn't bring myself to talk about it on here or to anyone but Jeremy, but I'm gong to now.

So one day Bubby really wanted to go play outside.  We sent one of the older kids out with him, and they played for a while and had fun and then came back inside.  Well, Jeremy came home during this, and with all the hubbub that comes with Papa coming home and trying to figure out dinner and stuff, we didn't notice Bubby somehow getting outside by himself.  I still have no idea how it happened.  Anyway, then suddenly there was a police officer at our door bringing Bubby home.  Apparently, the little guy had wandered down the street and the neighbors had taken him in.  Instead of bringing him home (Like, well, isn't that what you'd do?  That's what I'd do!  That would be my gut reaction.) they just kept him there and waited for us and then called the police.  We had no idea he was even gone until the officer brought him home.  The neighbors say he was there for an hour.  I don't think there's any way he was gone for more than 20 minutes, but man!  The very idea that I didn't know where he was for even that long just kills me.  He deserves better than that.

Anyway, the officer spoke sternly to us.  First he had us send the other children inside, and then he told us several times that he could have been killed and, "I have 3 kids of my own.  There's just no excuse." And, "I could be coming to tell you that he was run over and he's dead."  And all sorts of other stuff.  He took our names and let us off with a warning: "This time it's on me.  If it happens again, it's on you guys."

So Jeremy immediately called his contractor friend about getting a new gate.  We had one before, but the tenants put the last nail in its coffin.  It took a couple of weeks, but we now have a new gate.  Thank heavens!  It gives me a lot of comfort. 

 

Like I said, this has been really, really hard on me.  I've wondered over and over again what kind of mother I am who doesn't know her baby has been gone for that long.  I've wondered if I did the right thing having so many kids in the first place.  And I've worried so many times that because we homeschool we're already going to be singled out.  People don't trust people who do things differently, as has been pointed out with homeschooling families across the nation.  And nobody can deny that I'm about the worst housekeeper ever.  I feel like such a terrible person.  And I'm so hurt that our neighbors thought so badly of us.  Certainly, it's dangerous that he was in the road.  I hate that it happened.  But the fact that it happened seems to confirm what the neighbors must think - that I'm a horrible mother.  I'm terrified that I'm going to lose my children.

 

I think part of the problem is that so many people are constantly attached to their phones these days.  The old common sense has gone out the window when it's so easy to just dial the police.  It's definitely easier to call the police than to take a child home.  That's just the culture of the world we live in these days.

 

And maybe this is a little silly, but it really makes me want even more to move away from Globe.  Overall, the people here lead such sad, deluded lives.  It scares me to think what they might do.  Scares me to death.

 



OK.  I let it out.  Now I need to move it along.  Here's the cute little stinker himself!  He found this toy camera this morning and then came and found me and perched himself on my lap with it.  He LOVES that toy!  It makes him so happy. :)

 

That little guy isn't so sure what he thinks of nursery still.  He went in just fine and happy the first couple of times, but ever since then he doesn't want us to leave him.  And then every time he falls asleep, and then he wakes up grouchy.  The ladies who are his teachers are so sweet.  I just wish he would trust them! :) He will in time, I'm sure.  At least he's happy for most of the time, I think!

 

As for Timmy, his helper has been MIA most of the time.  It's so frustrating!  And his teacher has an inactive husband and a daughter who does softball (that's Corrinn).  That means that a lot of Sundays she doesn't come either.  Please understand, I'm not upset with the teacher or the helper.  I have no idea what their lives are like, and I really like both of them.  I'm just frustrated at the position it puts me in.  It means they have to find a sub with no notice, and then I just stay with Timmy.  He doesn't trust anybody else, it seems like.  Even if his teacher's there I have to stay with him because he won't let me leave.  Yesterday I really wanted to go to Relief Society.  I even got him a snack, hoping he'd sit by me and eat and play on my tablet, but he would have none of that.  He sat quietly for a few minutes, and then he decided he wanted to leave immediately.  I thought he just needed a drink and that we'd be right back, so I left my stuff in the room.  (We had been sitting right by the door.)  But when I tried to go back in he slammed the door!  Right in the middle of class!  Argh!  So we spend a lot of time just wandering the halls.  I made him go to at least part of his class yesterday, and he's usually fine through singing time and maybe a bit of sharing time (those come before class), but then I'm just out of luck.  I need to get some more Play-Doh for my church bag, and maybe some other activities that are just for Primary time.  Maybe that would help.  I just don't know what to do. 

 

And one thing I worry about with him is that he tends to freak out big time.  He ends up being a little spoiled.  He is really choosy about what he'll eat, so sometimes all we can do is give in and feed him whatever he is begging for, no matter what it is. :P And if we try to make him do something that he doesn't want to we'd better be prepared with a compelling reason that makes him change his mind (or we'd better give up) because he is going to resist, and that is never quiet or pleasant.  (At least yesterday he just slammed the door and didn't scream too.)  It's sometimes hard to keep him on an even keel, especially when we're not home.  Being in other situations with people he doesn't know, or even just a lot of people doesn't sit well with him.  He gets overstimulated and starts to act out.  And even just yesterday, it was our turn for Sunday dinner, and having all those people over was just too much, even though they're people he knows.  By the end he was pulling my hair and hitting me.  He needed to run some laps to let it all out.

 

I remember that when Joshua was young I really struggled with him.  I think I even said some things about him that may not have been very nice.  I want it understood, though, that I accept the reality of taking care of these guys as they are.  I love them for who they are, and I celebrate that they are who they are.  I just want to paint a clear picture of what it's like for journal reference, you know?  I know that Timmy will progress as Joshua has.  It's just kind of tricky with him right now.  Still, I love him, and I'm proud of him.  He's a pretty outstanding little fella. :)

 

Another happier note: our niece Charity was just baptized on May 2 in Chandler.  It's such a blessing to be able to go to these special moments!  (Score 1 for living in Globe. ;) ) There have been other great things about it lately too.  For instance, I think that we've needed to be here for Joe lately.  I'm glad we could.  Anyway, hooray for Charity!  She is Anne and Rob's 3rd of 7. :) We're pretty proud! 



We're also proud of Benji!  We had Pack Meeting on Wednesday.  Benji has been out of Cub Scouts for a few months, but they had him come back for this one because the awards weren't in yet a few months ago.  He officially received his arrow of light! :)

 

(Man!  Benji and Michael both have kind of funny looks on their faces!  Ha!)  Michael got a few belt loops and such.  Hooray for Michael!  He's working on his Bear.  He'll be my only one at Cub Scout Day Camp this year, and he'll be out of Cub Scouts before Timmy comes in. 

 

So there you go.  A little update. :)

Apathy

I'm kind of in a funk right now.  For that last few weeks my sleep rhythm has been off, and I can't seem to get it back right.  I'm tired of sleeping.  I'm tired of eating.  I'm tired even of doing the things I do for fun.  And I'm scared to death of the laundry!  Of course, I keep doing these things because I need to, but I'm missing a spark somewhere.  I feel like once I get my sleep rhythm back in order everything is going to feel better.  But that's going to take at least a few more weeks.  I can keep trying to move forward.  I've been doing better at reading my scriptures.  And I still feed myself and my family.  And I'm sleeping when I can.  I'm just tired of waiting for things to be put right.  In a way, though, I brought it upon myself.  I'll get it sorted out, though.  This feeling never lasts forever.

I've been a bad blogger.  Every day I think of things I want to write about, and then I forget before I can get to my computer.  I don't usually even try to blog on my devices anymore.  The devices that I used to use for blogging are dying, though I hate to admit it.  They run slow and they freeze up.  Man, I'm whiny today! 

Well, today I'll try to tell you some things that are going on that are not whiny. 

Bubby has two favorite songs: the ABC song and the happy birthday song.  You have to be paying attention or you can't tell when he starts singing, but the sound of his voice changes as he tries to sing the sounds he knows.  He knows some key ones from each song.  It's so cute!  He is such a fun, happy little guy!

We're still scheming about moving to Cedar City.  Today I'm feeling a bit hopeless about it.  It's probably my lack of sleep speaking.  Hearing that ground will be broken for the Cedar City Temple in August kind of spurred on a bigger desire to move.  We've been going over and over lists of houses and wondering what to do about a job.  I told you the problems Jeremy has with that job there, right?  Commissions and selling insurance.  Yeah.  I wish I knew what to do.  I feel stuck.  And at the same time I'm trying very hard to be patient because I think that Jeremy needs to be here for Joe at this moment in time.  It's going to work out, though.  I just know it!

We've had a few changes around our house lately.  Joe was looking for some jobs to do to earn money to buy a truck.  He did end up buying the truck, but it's been giving him trouble ever since.  In fact, right now it's sitting outside our house in need of at least a new starter.  Anyway, before it was broken in front of our house he used it to clean up our yard.  It's starting to grow back here and there, but for a bit there it looked a lot better. :) And then Jeremy had him help clean up the shop.  He also cleaned our fridge.  Jeremy's been looking our house over and coming up with little projects that he wants to get done, and the current one is carpet.  So the day before yesterday Joe came after school and ripped the carpet out of our hall.  It was horrible and matted, but to tell the truth I kind of miss it.  The hall is weird and it echoes.  And under the carpet we found old tile, which we figured was probably there.  The was under the living room carpet that we ripped out before we moved in.  It seems to have been kind of glued in lace on this black lining of some sort. Anyway, the tiles are coming up, and I hate it.  And because the carpet is out of the hall, we're going to have to take it out everywhere else too, and that means moving every single thing out of all three of the bedrooms.  Spare me!  I don't know, though.  Maybe it'll help me de-clutter.

We also just got Jill, Timmy, and Brom a new bunk bed.  It's one of those that has a twin size mattress on top and a full size on the bottom.  It's red.  We set it up last week, and so far Bubby has slept all night on his own bed (he shares the bottom with Timmy) every night that we've put him there.  Timmy still comes to our bed in the middle of the night.  He just kind of sneaks in.  And then sometimes he wets our bed.  Like last night.  Argh!  I figure he'll grow out of it because I have a list of people I know who did, but for now I just wish he'd at least not wet OUR bed.  Ha ha!  Still, it's nice to have the new bed.  I'm thankful.

We got a new monitor too, so now all 4 computers can run.  That's also nice.  We set up the big table in the living room and put 2 of them on it.  I just wish they didn't take up so much room.

Yesterday Jeremy had to go to the rod plant (Or was it the smelter?  I can't remember.) for something or other, and he found that breathing the acid was pretty bad for him.  He kind of suffered from that for the rest of the day.  It made us realize that maybe that's one reason why he's so allergic to Globe.  The mine uses A LOT of acid.

Yesterday I made a mermaid tail for Jill's Ariel Barbie.  It came out a little wonky, but she was pretty pleased.  My next project is to make a dress for the Barbie that somebody gave her on Sunday.  That Barbie isn't dressed as modestly as I'd like.  And it's fun to have Barbie clothes. :) I remember how much fun I had playing with my Barbies.  I definitely need to make a Barbie wedding dress if nothing else!

Well, that's it for now.  Love you all!