Have to say

I am frustrated with our illustrious lawmakers at the moment. Our governor vetoed a bill that would allow businesses to choose to not work for gay marriages. I am not sure if she did it out of personal conviction or if she just gave into the whole nation's whining, but I wish she hadn't.

Please understand, I am not against people being gay. I know some choose it and some do not. That is their business. I'm not against them for it. I have some friends who are gay. And if I owned a flower shop or a bakery and they wanted to buy flowers or whatever, I would not mind. But I could not do these services for gay weddings.  I simply could not. It is against my religion, the free exercise of which is protected by the very first ammendment to the Constitution.

The problem is that people with the same ideals as mine, who would serve gay people under any other circumstances, are being brought to court for not servicing for gay weddings and being told that their first ammendment rights are basically revoked. These people are told that they're not allowed to choose, that their constitutional rights are unconstitutional. That is wrong on so many levels.

But another problem we have has been on proud display in Utah and a growing number of states. These are states which voted to define marriage in its correct moral form. But judges have come along and declared that unconstitutional and thrown the whole thing upside down, effectively allowing just the opposite of what the people voted for. Gays are now legally allowed to marry in these states. What these judges are doing looks a whole lot like law-making to me, not law-interpreting. And if I'm not mistaken, that, unfortunately, would probably be the fate of the bill that was struck down anyway. And then the whole state would have their rights revoked instead of just whoever was taken to court. So maybe it's better that it didn't pass? I don't know.

I'm just tired of it all. I'm tired of people being called unfair and old-fashioned and hateful and intolerant and whatever else for living what they believe, especially since our religion doesn't call for hate and whatever. We are to love everyone, no matter who they are or what their lives are like or what they believe or what choices they make, and I do my best to do that. And so how am I hateful when I can't support gay marriage? I can't support sin. It is offensive to God and by supporting it I would be offensive to God. You bet I am steering clear of that. I need Him!

Anyway, this is starting to look like a nonsensical jumble. I and sleepy, and that's what happens. I didn't want to post on Facebook because my friends seem to have surprisingly widely varying views on the matter and I wasn't up for a fight, but I had to say something, dang it! It is just shocking and horrible. But it's the pride cycle, just like in the Book of Mormon. Nothing new, but it doesn't end well, does it? ;)

Wednesday Picture Day

I give up.  I don't like being wordless.  This is hereby declared to be picture day.  I got  a new camera yesterday and took a billion pictures.  I mentioned on Facebook how I'm kind of frustrated with it because it pixelates backgrounds and hair.  But some of these came out pretty good.  The boys thought some of my silly settings were fun, so we took some silly pictures and they laughed.

Cute baby in his walker (His feet don't touch the floor yet, but he has fun being in his walker.)

 

Benji on the "fish eyes" setting.  Ha ha!

 

This one kind of makes me laugh.  It doesn't quite look like Timmy.

 

Jill on the punk setting or whatever it is.  I kind of like this one.

 

This is one of my favorites.  Michael with the fish eyes setting.  Hilarious!

 

I did fish eyes on Joshua, but it didn't make much difference since he was hiding in my blanket.

 

Hyrum on the reflection setting.  Timmy looks at this and says, "Hyrum!  Aaah!"  He thinks it's funny.

 

This one doesn't quite look like how I see Brom, but it's cute. :)

Thoughts on Tuesday

I often think that all I ever talk about on here is how I'm puzzling out this existence or how the two little ones are doing. I feel kind of bad for slowing down on documenting the others kiddos. I guess it is just that they aren't changing as fast. Well, today I'd like to talk about them.

Hyrum is a teenager! That fact still hasn't quite seemed like it could possibly be real yet. He has a wispy little mustache going on, and Jeremy wants to get him to shave it before Saturday's Temple celebration. Is that not nuts?! Hyrum says he'd rather just have a mustache. He has had a lot of fun having an MP3 player, and his earbuds are quite good. We have to go over and poke him to get his attention. But he loves being plugged in and bopping to music while he's on the computer.

Joshua has found two websites that are helping him learn to program websites. At first he was upset that Benji and Michael were doing it too, but he got over it. He hasn't been able to do scouts since January or so since they've been working on the Temple celebration. Joshua just recently got new pants because his old ones got a huge hole in the crotch. He insisted that these were the best fit, but they aren't. They fall down every time he stands up. Got to get that boy a belt!

Benji, of course, has a puppy. Said puppy cannot be dissuaded from pooping in Jill's room. We've tried and tried with odor eliminators so he doesn't smell and think that's where to go, but so far we haven't had much luck. Mostly he just does his bidness outside, though. Benji really loves that dog a lot, but he is often slow to take care of him. Silly boy. Ah, well. He is only 10, after all. Benji, like all the other children so far, loves to cook. He just learned to make omelettes, and he likes that pretty good. He puts in peppers and cheese.

Michael is really excited about his baptism. He liked getting the program ready. I noticed at one point that he wasn't picking anybody from out of town, so I suggested this or that person. But he said no, that he didn't want any of the guests to have to do any of that. I guess he's just trying to look out for people who have to travel. I thought it was funny that he didn't think the people in town are guests at the baptism. He he. Right now Michael is in his sleeping bag kneeling on that trampoline at the computer.  Ha ha! He likes to play with the puzzles on there.

Jill is still her silly, girly self. She likes to wear skirts. She likes to be told that she looks pretty. Lately she often likes to disobey right after she is told no, and then she runs away crying when she gets in trouble. Silly girl. But she likes to give lots of kisses and tell me she loves me. She refers to me as "my mommy." She is also constantly climbing up in the window that looks into the kitchen from the living room and playing on the counter. (I definitely have a love/hate relationship with that window.) On the one hand that behavior helps me keep the counter cleaned off, but on the other hand, I'd rather clean it on my own schedule instead of just whenever Jill and Timmy feel like throwing everything off.

And there you go. :) That's what the others are up to.

Monday Meme

Blast it! I started this 3 times! I found a super long meme. I'll delete some of the more stupid questions.

1 - Who was the last person you texted? Bishop Mawson - baptism bidness

4 - What sports do you play? Ha ha

5 - Who is the first person in your contacts? Aaron and Kenzie's landline phone.

6 - What is your favorite song as of the moment? I don't really have one, but I have been having fun listening to songs from high school and college. And I had lots of fun singing church music going to and from the Temple on Saturday.

7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with? Duh. My family. If I had to pick one person it would be Jeremy. He would help me stay sane and feel like our kiddos would be fine. And he is fun to be with. And he is my favorite.

8 - What do you feel right now? That is a strange question. I'm tired.

9 - What chocolate is your favorite? Dove dark with almonds, but only because Belgian chocolate isn't usually available.

14 - What do you want to be in the future? Myself - whoever that ends up being

15 - When was the last time you cried? Why? The other day. I will keep that to myself.

16 - Are you happy? It was a happy day, yes.

17 - Who do you miss? My Cedar city friends, particularly Tia Fawson.

18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life? Nope.

19 - What was the best thing you were given? Life

21 - What is your favorite dish? I don't really have one, but I really loved the dinner I made tonight - lemon pepper chicken, dressing, and sweet potatoes. Yum!

23 - What is your biggest regret? Not standing up for myself. That and yelling at my children and spanking them. I have improved a lot on those over the years, though. Thank heavens!

26 - Name someone pretty. Jill

27 - Who was the last person you hugged? Brom

28 - What kind of music do you listen to? 90s pop and hymns mostly.

29 - Are you over your past? I would be if it would stay in the past! Ha ha! But really, I have come a long way. Still have a ways to go, but progress!

32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night? I have problems not sleeping! After my babies are weaned I stop waking to take care of them. I don't mean to! Thank heavens for Jeremy.  And good thing I somehow wake up when he isn't home.

34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt? Jeans

36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”? Yep. And whadya know! I married him!

39 - Do you have any phobias? I used to fear being chased, even at play, and I was afraid of the dark for a long, long time. Like until I went to college. But I'm really only afraid of things that could hurt me or my family right now. (Yucky bugs that carry germs and bite and sting and such.)

40 - Did you try to change for a person? I don't remember. I think o did.

42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship? I never really had one.

47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s? None. But before you feel sorry, just remember our birthdays are both right before Valentine's Day. It would kind of be overkill to go all crazy with it. That and it feels so fake. I don't need to feel forced to show love. I'd rather just do it every day because I like to.

48 - Have you ever been kissed? Ummm... gonna have to go with yes on this one.

49 - How long is your longest relationship? 14 years, 9 months, and 18 days.

53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone? I have grudges against holding grudges. I hate grudges. ;) I try to just move on because it feels better, but there are definitely people I want to never see again.

54 - Are you a crybaby? Sometimes

58 - Do you like getting hurt? LOL. No. Except sometimes it is fun to get some sympathy. ;)

59 - Does anyone hate you? I am not sure, but I don't want to know if they do. I can't live with knowing someone is upset with me. It is too painful.

60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”? What in the world?! How many people have I ever slapped?!

61 - What hair color do you prefer? I like my hair how it is, but it was fun when I dyed it a little red. I liked that.

64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself? No. (Good golly! Who thought up that one?!)

68 - Are you good at holding back your tears? Sometimes.

71 - Are you a KPOP fan? Obviously not. No idea what that means.

73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love? Yes. It's in my job description.

75 - Have you ever ridden a boat? Yes. My dad had a canoe for several years. I loved going canoeing at Lyman Lake.

79 - Have you ever been jealous? Who hasn't?

83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase? Don't we all?

86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone? I was thinking about this the other day. Did I tell you how I insulted Jennifer once during an argument? If I didn't, let me know and I'll tell you.

91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”? Yes, but I also believe we're supposed to do something to help it along.

95 - How do you look right now? Sleepy.

96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies? No

100 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough? Oh, yeah. But I got better. I am pretty comfortable with myself these days. And it is because I decided I was good enough, not just because anyone else thinks I'm worth something.

Timmy

I may have mentioned that Timmy likes puzzles. Just now he was watching me do a puzzle app on my phone. And then out of the blue he said in a very sweet voice, "Bye bye, puzzle." And then he switched immediately to his growly voice and said, "Get out, a puzzle!" (Puzzle is pronounced "puzzoe", and the zz often sounds like a dz.) It made me laugh, so he did it again. It was so darn cute! I loved that he saw the effects of what he said and knew to keep going. Hooray for a developing sense of humor! :)

PS I love to laugh, and lately I have been laughing a lot. It is fun.

And one more thing: at bed time the four older boys, who share a room, are often found talking when they should be sleeping. I try to get them to stop because they need their sleep, but it warms my heart to hear then enjoying each other's company.

Temple Celebration

This is how Hyrum spent his Saturday - dancing all day! He came home sweaty and covered in dust. They had to cancel the last run-through because they kicked up too much dust and people were getting sick. This is all the groups together. Each region is a different color. Hyrum is also in a square dance for the celebration and says he will be in the back right corner for that. His shirt for that is a tan snap-down one. In this picture, Globe Stake is that little red dot. He says he didn't know they were making a design. Ha ha! So flippin' exciting!

Thoughts on Tuesday

Man! I woke up with a migraine and two little boys who desperately needed me. I couldn't even get medicine because these little guys couldn't let me get off the couch. Thank heavens they are feeling better and I was able to get this headache under control! For a while there I was pretty convinced I'd be running to the bathroom to throw up. Yeah, it is so much more enjoyable to take care of my little ones now that I'm feeling better.

Yesterday I went down to the valley to take Timmy to the dentist. Hyrum and Brom came too. I was glad for Hyrum's help so I could hold Timmy when he needed it. This time wasn't as hard on me as Jill's turn was because I knew better what to expect, but IV sedation still freaks me out. The anesthesiologist gives them a shot in the arm, and after crying for a minute or two they calm down and get a weird glazed look in their eyes and then all they want to do is look in my eyes. It is so disturbing! It's like the life was just sucked out of them and they aren't themselves anymore. But that way they don't notice when the monitors are hooked to them and the IV is inserted and stuff. The anesthesiologist stays and monitors them through the whole procedure, and then when it's over and the IV and everything is out and off they bring me to see my baby wake up. Jill was still sleeping long after I came in. Timmy was rolling around crying in true Timmy fashion. And he has the wrong teeth. It's sad to me. But he had a lot more work that needed done than Jill did.

You may have noticed that he had a LOT of decay on his front teeth. (NO MORE SIPPY CUPS! I am not getting one for Brom.) His back teeth weren't really better.  He didn't need any pulled, but he had multiple root canals. Poor baby. :( he has a lot of crowns. All the ones in the front are white (Thank heavens! That is a tender mercy!), but they don't look the same. For one thing, they remind me of Shirley Temple, and for another thing, he has no gap. Well, at least it is temporary. He will grow new ones in a few years. It will still take some getting used to. He came to ask me for ramen yesterday at lunch time, and when I came with him he smiled and giggled as usual, but he had the wrong smile! It was a tad bit heartbreaking. But you bet we are so very thankful that the hard part is over and that his teeth have been taken care of.

So yeah, yesterday was a hard time for Timmy, but he seems to feel better. I'm so glad! I am feeling quite blessed and thankful that it's done. I'd been dreading it for a long time.